Time To Play: Talking With Little Green Men...

Conversations with an alien. No, not a liberal, a real alien:

LGM: Greetings. And expressed sorrow over the air mass disturbance that resulted in the death and devastation of the city you earthlings refer to as Big Easy. May we inquire as to how many life force termination's resulted from this event.

You: Well, we don't know for sure, so far there's 59 dead that can be accounted for...

LGM: Interesting. According to our files, your highways generate approximately 124.93 life force termination's per 24 hour cycle from the impact of fossil fuel burning vehicles traveling at high rates of speed. Multiply that times the nine such cycles since the hurricane event and one thousand one hundred and twenty-four point three seven life forces have become negative impressions signifying premature termination.

You: Ah, that sounds about right I guess, but...

LGM: Then explain please why so very many daily termination's are not considered to be eventful but this particular situation is?

You: That's simple, highway accidents are just that, accidents, and...

LGM: Negative. The proper words to describe such termination's are negligent anomalies. Only 1.475% of such impacts are caused by faulty mechanical devices therefore accident is an inappropriate word. Our studies have shown that your highways are congested, poorly designed and 87.65% of all operators of fossil-fuel motor vehicles have skill levels far below what would reasonably be considered as adequate.

You: Driving is, is American as apple pie, and most people drive so we're bound to have our share of acciden, um, negligent anomalies...

LGM: So premature life force termination's are acceptable if caused by negligent behavior but unacceptable when incurred from rapidly moving air masses?

You: Whew, not exactly, it's just different. To get from point A to point B, people willingly drive. A hurricane just comes along and pow, takes out everything in it's path...

LGM: So these rapidly moving air masses that cause death and destruction are unacceptable because no particular human element is to blame.

You: That's oversimplifying but, yes, sort of...look at it this way it's something we can't controland that sort of pisses us off, ya know.

LGM: Then why is the worldwide media blaming your President if this event was caused by an uncontrollable force.

You: .....