Wednesday, September 30, 2009

So Then...If You've Got An Extra $575 Doing Nothing...

Coming Soon...

The World's Strongest, Bestest, Toughtest Folder...

As seen by Fits.

No, this isn't it; just a little number that can be seen in more of its glory by clicking the headline linkerooni.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

On The Road Again

Being the wandering wastrels that we are, well, me at least, Fort Fits is once again on the go and dont'cha just LOVE moving?

I've even had to curtail the gator catching.


So anyway, once the barbed wire is strung and the electrified fences are up and working I'll be free to blog more often.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Obama Talks About G-20 And The Iranian Nuclear Threat

PITTSBURGH (AP) - President Barack Obama says the G-20 summit in Pittsburgh was relatively tranquil and protesters should realize that world leaders are trying to shape a global economy that helps poor people.

Also, when the President was asked his opinion of the latest Iranian nuclear threat, he responded with, "Forget weapon systems, all that Iran really needs are two things. Number 1, a universal health care program such as the one I am creating for America, Number 2, a global warming initiative to make certain that future generations of Iranians have plenty of breathable air after the Israeli's nuke the shit out of them, and Number 3, the creation of an Iranian Black Caucus that would supervise the establishment of an ACORN-like entity that would assure equality for Iranian prostitutes the country-over, and just like our ACORN find the absolute best 13 year-0ld chinamen girls to ship in-country as sex slaves."

"And isn't it a kick in the ass that we blacks finally get to have and supervise slaves like ACORN is helping to promote? I'm telling you we're genuinely dancing in the streets about that shit. Hey, that recorder isn't on, right...?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Netanyahu Slams U.N. for Giving Ahmadinejad Forum...

"The man who called the Holocaust a lie spoke at this podium. To those who refused to come and to those who left in protest, I commend you. You stood up for moral clarity and you brought honor to your countries. But to those who gave this Holocaust denier a hearing, I say on behalf of my people, the Jewish people, and decent people everywhere -- have you no shame? Have you no decency?" a word...NO.

Everyone...well, liberals notwithstanding because liberals never learn shit about history...everyone knows that the United Nations was created to give American allies a place to gather in order to formulate plans for the destruction of Hitler and Tojo. You needn't be a great big nation, just one interested in the rights of mankind and preserving the peace. But, first and foremost, you absolutely, positively HADDA be our ally.

Times have changed and now any dirtwater duchy can join the UN, particularly if that duchy has dinosaur droppings to spare and hates America to boot.

Hates America like Barack Hussein Obama hates America. Wants it taken down a peg or three and wants Americans as bankrupt and begging for handouts as, let's say Europe. Sort of like a Revenge of The Nerds, International Style.

Here's Big Ben given' 'em hell.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

In It's Entirety...Barack Obama's UN Speech

"Good afternoon ladies of gentlemen, and please allow me to introduce myself. I am Barack Obama. For the past 9 months I've been President of the Untied States of America, and let me tell you what that means.

But first let us go way way back in time. Even before Franklin Theodore Roosevelt bombed Pearl's Harbor, even before Henry Ford invented the car. You America haters have pretty much gone it alone, and by America haters I mean everyone sitting out there in the audience, and that includes the American press. Sure, Jimmy Carter tried and sure again William Washington Clinton did his level best to disgrace America, but I'm here to tell you that at long last you've got a friend in the rectangle office. You've got a friend because I personally hate America even more than you do.

This ain't no peanut farmering, no screwing ugly white women behind the water cooler, hell I've got my own ugly black woman and one beast is enough for any man to handle at any given point in time. All that stuff would do is divert my attention away from truly dissing America, truly screwing America, because my baby step days of merely apologizing for America are over with and it's time to get down and dirty.

In a few months I'll have totally fucked a full one-sixth of the American economy with my Obamacare, so hang in there, and someone give me an AMEN. In a few months I'll have surrendered in Afghanistan, so hang in there. And beginning TODAY I'm pushing climate change until the United States is fucking broke and I do mean busted, so how's about that AMEN?

And in a few MORE months it'll be a quart of skim milk, an ultra-sized bottle of hair straightener, one large, seedless watermelon...

Fuck. Ha, sorry about that. Michelle accidentally slipped her shopping list into my teleprompter shit, but you get my gist.

And the next sound you hear from America, listen closely my fellow America haters. Because that'll be the sound of it all being flushed down the tubes.

Thank you very much, and may Adolph bless you all."

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Man Teaching Girlfriend About Gun Safety Shoots Himself in the Head

And Darwin Smiles...

"A Missouri man reportedly shot himself in the head accidentally while teaching his girlfriend about gun safety.

According to witnesses James Looney was insistent on giving his girlfriend a personal lesson in firearm safety Friday before taking her to a shooting range, MyFOXMemphis reported.

As part of the tutorial, Looney demonstrated different safety features on several firearms then put the guns to his head and asked if they would fire, Jefferson County Sheriff told the station. The third gun actually went off.

The 40-year-old was pronounced dead at a local hospital the next morning — the same day he was to take his girlfriend to the range, the station reported."

ALL guns ARE loaded.

We know this truth to be self evident. Apparently, Mr. Looney...and if EVER a name was apt...thought he knew better and paid for it.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Press Gets Hygiene Lesson After Sneeze....

"During a briefing by (self-appointed national mommy) Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, NBC White House reporter Chuck Todd sneezed into his hand, and not his sleeve.

Without missing a beat, the Obama administration's point person on swine flu quickly demonstrated proper procedure…sneeze into your arm!"

The sneeze-into-your-arm DEMAND is of course for peons only.

The Emperor, you see, emits pure diamond-trimmed gold dust and can damned well spread it to anyone at will.

As can be seen from the following video.

Extrema Ratio: Nemesis

Weight: 9 ounces. Blade length: 4.6 inches...Handle: 5.8 inches for an overall length of 10.4 inches, and balanced quite well. Steel: N690...think 440-C with 1.5% Cobalt. Blade Thickness: 6 mm and strong enough to...break right through the top half of a cinder block and send cracks through the bottom when wielded hammer-style, and swung with all of the strength 265 pounds of fella can muster. Aftermath? The tip was bent a tad, easily honed back into service, with the liner lock as rock steady after as it was before. Fit & Finish was flawless. Coating: Mil-C-13924. Delivered Price: $367.

The knife arrived reasonably sharp, then was diamond-honed to a 20 degree inclusive high flat grind whereupon it could easily slice hanging newsprint without pulling.

This is presented not as a recommendation to purchase, but merely a synopsis of what I consider to be a state-of-the-art HEAVY-DUTY folder. And a FAR cry from the Spyderco, Kershaw, Benchmade et al offerings that can cost as much, if not more, while laughingly calling themselves heavy-duty and with a straight face no less.

Not everyone can walk around with a fixed blade swinging from the hip...thank you liberal democrats...and robust folders such as the Extreme Ratio Nemesis can be almost as useful and concealable as well. Then again, I've seen fixed blades far more wimpier than knives such as the Nemesis, so your mileage may vary either way and ain't that just life as we know it.

Caveat Blogtor

Don't you fucking dare buy the knife then send me tons of email bitching about how much you hate the thing. I will find you.

Our National Disgrace...At It Again

Hell; what with Ted Kennedy finally roasting in hell and Emperor Obo The First too dumb to pick on ALL the time, Jimmah needs some yellowstream media lovin' too.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Ann Coulter Concludes Her Glance At Obamacare

"I'm trying to get to the next installment of my Pulitzer Prize-deserving series on liberal lies about national health care, but apparently liberals have decided to torture us by neurotically fixating on one lie.

After President Barack Obama gave a speech to a joint session of Congress last week passionately defending his national health care plan, the Democrats were agog at the brilliance of the speech. Nancy Pelosi was so thrilled, her expression almost changed.

But as Obama ticked off one demonstrably false claim after another -- eliciting 37 standing ovations from the Democrats in the audience -- America's greatest living statesman, Rep. Joe Wilson, R-S.C., yelled out, "You lie!" in response to Obama's claim that the bill will not cover illegal aliens.

There are a number of theories about why America's greatest living statesman shouted "You lie!" at that juncture, but mine is that Wilson said it because Obama told a big, fat stinking lie.

Every single American knows it's a lie. But liberals take pleasure in repeating it -- and then condescendingly accusing anyone who doesn't accept their lie of being a toothless, illiterate racist.

Our politicians, media and courts have done everything they can to encourage illegal immigration, including obstinately refusing to enforce the border. While illegals streaming across the border generally aren't prosecuted, U.S. border patrol agents who naively try to guard the border often are.

Wise (and pregnant) Latinas dash across the border just in time to give birth at American hospitals -- medical services paid for by U.S. taxpayers -- gaining instant citizenship for their children, thereby entitling them to the entire Chinese menu of American welfare programs.

In 2004, 42.6 percent of all babies born at taxpayer expense in California were born to illegal aliens, according to a state report on Medi-Cal-funded deliveries. In hospitals close to the Mexican border, the figure is closer to 80 percent. Remember: This is before health care becomes "free" to every U.S. resident.

Hospitals across the country are going bankrupt because the federal government forces them to provide free services to illegals. This situation appears to have angered some segment of the population, in particular, American citizens who pay taxes to support the hospitals, but then are forced to spend hours writhing in pain in hospital waiting rooms.

With Americans in a boiling cauldron of rage about the government's impotent response to the tsunami of illegal immigrants, last year, both political parties ran candidates for president who favor amnesty for illegal immigrants.

And now Democrats have the audacity to tell us to our faces that national health care won't cover illegals. Not only that, but they tell us we must not be able to read if we think it does.

The crystalline example of this sneering liberal pomposity came from MSNBC's Rachel Maddow on Monday night:

"Reading the House health care bill would show you that (the bill does not cover illegal aliens). But you know, sometimes reading is hard. Fortunately, in the case of the health reform bill, there is a way to get all of the information that's in it without any of that pesky reading.

"It's called Volunteer voiceover actors have donated their time to read all 1,017 pages of the house health care reform bill, HR-3200, the America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009.

"So if you don't want to tire out your eyes, you could just listen to the thing that disproves (Rep. Wilson)."

Maddow then played an audio clip of Section 246 from the bill. This section, which liberals keep brandishing like a DNA-stained dress, states: "Nothing in this subtitle shall allow federal payments for affordability credits on behalf of individuals who are not lawfully present in the United States."

In other words, illegal aliens are excluded from precisely one section of the thousand-page, goodie-laden health care bill: Section 246, which distributes taxpayer-funded "affordability credits" to people who can't afford to pay for their own health care.

Even this minor restriction on taxpayer largesse to illegals will immediately be overturned by the courts. But the point is: Except for vouchers, the bill does not even pretend to exclude illegals from any part of national health care -- including the taxpayer-funded health insurance plan.

Moreover, liberals won't have to wait for some court to find that the words "nothing in this subtitle shall allow" means "this bill allows," because the bill contains no mechanism to ensure that the health care vouchers aren't going to illegal aliens. Nor does the bill prohibit the states from providing taxpayer-funded health care vouchers to illegals.

Democrats keep voting down Republican amendments that would insert these restrictions -- just before dashing to a TV studio to denounce anyone who says the health care bill covers illegal aliens.

It's as if we have a relative who shows up at every holiday gathering, gets bombed and totals the family car. At the 18th Christmas celebration, he's not only demanding a drink, but also calling us liars for saying he's already totaled 17 family cars. Gimme a gin and tonic and the car keys, you lying racist!

I think that's why America's greatest living statesman erupted with rage when Obama retailed this particular lie during his speech on health care.

It's bad enough to be lied to, but to be lied to by people who accuse us of not being able to read when the problem is that we can read -- and also can remember what happened at the last 17 family Christmases -- is more than even Mother Teresa could bear without a quick heckle."

Yes, fer sure.

The thieving, lying sons 'a bitches (and bitches as well, lest Nancy P. press suit for being omitted) who haven't the vaguest of familiarity with the FUCKING TRUTH, want us to forget how much money goes into the ILLEGAL FRICKIN' ALIEN boondoggle, otherwise known as "how to be a lefty politician for fun and profit" scheme that has taken America by storm, especially since the reign of Emperor Obo The First which has sent shivers of delight down the legs of men and women of the commie bent.

ABORTION and ILLEGAL ALIENS do seem to be pretty much all our NEW HITLER YOUTH can run up the flagpole and salute and mostly because most of America despises ABORTION and ILLEGAL ALIENS that rob, rape, and steal their way into what still remains the GREATEST COUNTRY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH.

"National Health Care", or "Adolph's Revenge Upon America" as is being, I'm quite certain, tattooed on the fat ass of every last freedom hater from sea to shining sea, is the latest method of bankrupting the country in order to:

A.) Bankrupt the country, and 2.) Make it thereby vulnerable to commie/nazi takeover from within because our brave men who have spilt untold mega gallons of blood and guts made it impossible for it to have been overrun from without.

Stay sharp, don't let the bastards (and bitches...see Nancy P. above) wear you down, and may God Bless America.


Remember to shout "You Lie" whenever Emperor Obo The First stops by your crib for a meeting of the minds.

Monday, September 14, 2009

ACORN Scumbags Caught Again...

"The scandal surrounding the left-wing activist organization ACORN has spread to New York, with employees at its Brooklyn office caught on video helping supposed ladies of the night get loans for their dream houses of ill repute.

Rather than reminding the women that prostitution is dangerous and illegal and advising them to change their careers, counselors at the social-services group shockingly offer suggestions on how they can launder their earnings.

"Honesty is not going to get you the house," a loan counselor at the offices told two activists posing as a mortgage-seeking pimp and prostitute.

"You can't say what you do for a living."

ACORN workers in two other cities, Baltimore and Washington, DC, had already fallen hooker, line and sinker for the hidden-camera sting operation by two conservative activists."

Now why would ANYONE think that african-Americans would take umbrage at helping someone set up a sex-SLAVE operation?

Does this seem to be bothering Al Sharpton? Jesse Jackson? How's about the Irish fella with lots and lots of melanin who was elected President with ACORN's help?

The yellowstream media? Nary a peep from the Times or the Washington Post or ABC, NBC, CBS, et al.

After all, wasn't it the blacks THEMSELVES who sold other blacks into slavery?

'Course it was. All of this phony baloney weepy freedom shit is merely to con guilty-feeling whites into giving them more and more of the pie they don't wanna work for.

Pretty much all of these monstrosities masquerading as human beings should die from slow stomach cancer. After their dicks and tits fall off.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Judge rules police cannot detain people for openly carrying guns

"On September 8, 2009, United States District Judge Bruce D. Black of the United States District Court for New Mexico entered summary judgment in a civil case for damages against Alamogordo, NM police officers. The Judge's straight shootin' message to police: Leave open carriers alone unless you have "reason to believe that a crime [is] afoot."

The facts of the case are pretty simple. Matthew St. John entered an Alamogordo movie theater as a paying customer and sat down to enjoy the movie. He was openly carrying a holstered handgun, conduct which is legal in 42 states, and requires no license in New Mexico and twenty-five other states."

And but of course the cops for all intents and purposes plead mightily that they shouldn't be held responsible because, after all, fuck the Constitution because guns are some scary ass shit.

Not that this ruling will prevent ALL cops EVERYWHERE from doing such gestapo-impersonations, but perhaps at least it'll make them stop and think for a moment or two.

The VAST majority of police throughout the nation have banded together to hassle-first and check the laws later when it comes to firearms, and its high time these cowardly frigs got a comeuppance.

Thanks to Of Arms and the Law for the link.

From Cookie...With Love...

You Can Take Them Out Of The Ghetto...

But ya can't take the ghetto out of them.

Submitted for your approval, the profanity spewing Serena Williams who today was disqualified for cursing at a line judge...

And terrorist lover Barack Hussein Obama who can shout and threaten and cajole and lie, cheat, and steal whenever the mood is upon him...BUT...

...Let one citizen raise a voice in protest and Mr. Obama's ever so friendly media jumps to the rescue to vilify and condemn.

What horrible people.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Nine Eleven


On the morning of September 11, 2001, four American airliners were hijacked by nineteen men armed with box cutters and knives. Aboard all of the ill fated aircraft, crews told the passengers to remain seated and calm and everything would be hunky dory in no time at all. Two of the planes were flown into the World Trade Center, one into the Pentagon, and the last crashed 80 miles southeast of Pittsburgh when some of the passengers decided NOT to remain calm and await hunky dorianism.

Today is the 8th anniversary of this travesty, and we remember those who were murdered by islamic terrorists. We remember them fondly and with sorrow and with the continuing promise that their deaths would not be vain because they alerted us to the danger and that we will do our level best to take the fight to the enemies who killed them.

Barack Hussein Obama, however, is certainly not the man to take anything even resembling a fight to anyone even resembling an enemy of the state. Such is the hand we've been dealt, but we've been dealt clunkers before and stood fast and made it through the night.

So in honor of those who died on that day let's reinvigorate ourselves and our promises.

Never let the bastards wear you down, never let them see you sweat, and come 2012 when this terrorist disguising himself as a President is long gone we can get back on track to being proud Americans who refuse to take shit from anyone.

As you were.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Ann Coulter Continues Her Peek At Obamacare...

"If any liberal sincerely believes that national health care will not cover illegals and abortion, how do they explain the Democrats frantically opposing amendments that would make this explicit?"

Because, as all men of good will know to be true, liberals lie like the lying sacks of lying shit they are, and of course will wish to provide illegal aliens with health care, but here's where I happen to disagree with Ann..

They DO NOT want illegal aliens to have abortions.

That would mean fewer potential lying ass liberals in the future, and eventually the fear is that liberals will actually abort themselves off of the face of the earth.

Yeah, I know, no such luck.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Yale: Cartoon Burning 101

"Yale University wiped a forthcoming book clean of controversial cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad, fearing the images would cause another outbreak of violence."

And yet another liberal entity caves to the mere threat of moslem head-chopping skulduggery. the same time will bend over backwards to assure mankind that islam is indeed a religion of peace.

Spineless lefty fuckers never cease to amaze me.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Presenting...Led By The Luvly Belfast Belle Herself..

To be sure, here's Lick The Tins and their extended version of Can't Help Falling in Love with You

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Quick Pitch: Danish Study Suggests Hillary Clinton May Live Forever

People With Thin Thighs Die Sooner, Study Finds

"Our results suggest that there might be an increased risk of premature death related to thigh size," Berit Heitmann of Copenhagen University Hospital and Peder Frederiksen of Glostrup University Hospital wrote."

They didn't mention ankles.

So maybe, just maybe, we'll be rid of Hillary before the dawning of the next century, grotesque thighs or not.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Ann Coulter Continues Her Look At Obamacare

"Liberals never, ever drop a heinous idea; they just change the name. "Abortion" becomes "choice," "communist" becomes "progressive," "communist dictatorship" becomes "people's democratic republic" and "Nikita Khrushchev" becomes "Barack Obama."

It doesn't matter if liberals start calling national health care a "chocolate chip puppy" or "ice cream sunset" -- if the government is subsidizing it, then the government calls the shots. And the moment the government gets its hands on the controls, it will be establishing death panels, forcing taxpayers to pay for abortions and illegal aliens, rationing care and then demanding yet more government control when partial government control creates a mess.

Which happens to be exactly what liberals are doing right now."

Obamacare is EXACTLY what Hillary-Care tried to be. Only difference was an ugly old woman pushing the idea versus a man who inspires jungle fever in the hearts and minds of the media, and that includes the women, too.

Today's commies are pushing what commies everywhere have FOREVER pushed:

The little people are stupid, cannot take care of themselves, and therefore should be treated as wards of the state.

And "little people" refers to anyone NOT working for the government or a strong union. If Obie and his minions have their way, America will be divided into three distinct groups of citizens.

The overlords, the workers and the indigent. Overlords of course referring to our elected officials who pine for the good old days of monarchy, indigent meaning those who cannot contribute to society along with those who WILL NOT, and the dwindling average Joe's who will be flat-footedly-raped in order to pay for the whole magilla.