"...ma condolences for the loss of a man so close to ma heart. We shared so very many life experiences and came to agree that no one can fulfill the love a man needs like another man can. For instance, I was so happy to discover that your Daddy would come into your room to play find-the-pickle whenever your Momma wasn't home, because that is exactly what my Daddy did with me.
...and as how you're going to get along with President Obama, well don't you have a care son. Just looky at all them photos of him a bowin' and a' scrapin' to every third-world tinhorn. The boy will bend over backwards for you so don't be havin' no never-minds.
All my love,