Bush: Noose Displays 'Deeply Offensive'

WASHINGTON (AP) - "President Bush says the era of lynching is a shameful chapter in American history that has no place in society today.

In prepared remarks for an event marking African-American history month at the White House, Bush says displays of nooses today are disturbing. He worries there is a risk that U.S. society is starting to lose sight of the "real suffering" that afflicted blacks in the past.

Bush also says displaying nooses is not a harmless prank, but is "deeply offensive."

Ya know, George, when gazing back through recorded history I was unawares of this race-specific method of execution until you brought it to my attention, so many thanks. The history books are absolutely wrong for stating that death by hanging had been around since even before the Greeks became literate, and I sincerely hope that these errors are addressed as soon as possible. Since ammunition is expensive and rope can be used over and over again, many 3rd world nations continue to hang 'em high and I await your asking the UN to convince India and Indonesia and Thailand and Cambodia and all of the Pacific rim nations as well as most of the Middle Eastern sheikdoms to cease and desist forthwith because nooses are, as previously stated, quite race-specific. Such countries that employ it without care for our proprietary and hideous method of execution should be forced to return to crucifixions or be held in contempt and taken to task by the World Court at every turn.

This of course also means that lariat exhibitions at Rodeo's must be banned as well. In fact, the manufacture or assembly of anything that even comes close to resembling a noose should be strictly licensed for professional cow and horse wranglers, as well as in certain instances sailing men who do have the need to learn knots, but NO OTHERS. The possible exception being law enforcement, or they'll most assuredly cry out that since only they are allowed to consummate the 2nd Amendment in its entirety they cannot be banned from doing something a common cowboy can practice with impunity.

Betcha.