AP Thursday, April 01, 2010: This morning the White House confirmed a persistent rumor that the President has decided to step down from office, in favor of Vice President Biden.
"After the passage of the Health Care Bill, President Obama feels that his work in Washington is done, and wishes to return to Chicago politics on a high note rather than await the 2012 election process where he'll probably be tossed to the curb like yesterday's trash," spokeswoman Gonorrea Syphalitica told a stunned White House pressroom, adding that "the First Lady also yearns for the days when a no-show job was far more lucrative than anything she could possibly earn by stealing White House silverware, or renting out the Lincoln Bedroom to Chinese abortion doctors and their white American mistresses."
Also, Vice President Biden's staff was rumored to have held an emergency meeting in order to decide exactly who was to break the news to Mr. Biden that he would actually have to report to work from now on, as opposed to camping out in the back of Airforce 2 in wait for the delivery of "those really salty-sweet peanuts they pass out for free but the reporters usually steal before anyone else can get their hands on."
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