Thursday, December 30, 2010

Frost Cutlery Mid-Week Destruction Of The English Language

Or...Hillbilly Hump Day

"...There are no future building of this knife planned...first come first serve...Buck handle...deer buck, that is...stag deer buck handle that are never to be built for the future after today. Later on, uh, um, I mean, now don't hold it to me who knows. No one can tell the future after today and if they can't tell it they can't plan it. What more can I say? What I'm tryin' to say is no one will ever see this again except on the open, um, after-market when someone else bought it before today and not ah, ah, the future. No one can plan on what someone who bought the knife in the past will do in his future and that includes sellin' this knife from the past. See what I mean?"

"Here is a first generation Frost Family in ram's horn collectors pouch. The pouch, um the pouch isn't ram's horn the handle is horn..."

Todd Boone

"So this here's our year end clearance special. How many are there, well I'm not gonna count 'em, Sheila ain't gonna count 'em and Marry isn't gonna count 'em so we don't know how many there were to begin with let alone after they sell out. So lets call it one piece but you're gonna get lots more than one piece and you can count 'em if you don't believe me."

Tom O'Dell

"You're so right, Tom, and America must be wakin' up to this great wonderful deal because all our lines are closed, wait there's one open, nope it's, wait, there's one, no, there's well on and off, yes, one line..."
Sheila Travis

4 comments:

Bah_Humbug said...

Fits, That's some funny stuff. I'm tempted to tune in just for some comic relief!

Bah_Humbug said...

I'm tuned in - First Knife - Mermaid dagger or something in 'Ivorite' - they don't even take it out of the sheath - "not double edged - has a false edge" according to O'Dell.
Next up - Deer bowie - blade is all scratched up - just like half the others.

Ha - now bignose is on.

Bah_Humbug said...

I want to see what O'Dell is doing to poor Sheila off camera with that stick he's carrying around. What's that on the end of it?

fits said...

The stick is for balance. He's often so drunk that he wanders off somewheres to sit down and never comes back so Jim Frost made him a big ass cane to carry with him. No lie. Lately the knifes have looked so damned bad, all crooked grinds and warped steel that its no wonder they all gotta drink themselves to a stuporjust to talk ab out such shit.