Early Thursday Morning, June 8: Transmission received from inside a reinforced goat-testicle-processing-plant somewhere near Baghdad:

Al The Z: What IS that infernal noise?

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: That's just Bali, oh engorged sweetness of our malehood. He is one of the perimeter guards and I have his cellphone ringertoner on "Material Girl".

Al the Z: What could the man want at this hour?

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: It's is the bushes again, oh wind of our sour passing.

Al The Z: The bushes? What bushes? Speak up man or I'll feed you to the Marines or even worse, the American Press Corps!

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: They shake, oh probe of our nether regions, they shake.

Al The Z: Shake? The bushes they shake?

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: Yes, divine receptacle to our spilled seed. All of the bushes in the neighborhood shake. This means that American Special Forces soldiers are masquerading as shrubberies and as long as they shake all is well.

Al The Z: Ah, yes, truth this to be, Ali. I myself have learned that they prance from area to area dressed as ferns and fig trees, but an airstrike is never imminent when a treeline quivers.

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: Quite as so, inhaler of our midnight purging's. They never boomb us when the flora are alive like the sound of music.

Al The Z: Ha, ha, little do these infidels know that we follow their walking philodendrons and take it as a sign from Allah that all is well, and are forever safe in the bosom of his sweet embr...what is THAT?

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: That is Calipha, oh cameltoe to the clouds, hold on a moment while I answer his call...

Al The Z: (mumbling) Boy George is hardly an appropriate ringertoner for a soldier of Jihad. Time long past to speak with Ali about where he really spends his time away from...

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: Ah, master of all baiters?

Al The Z: Yes man, what is it? Spit it out!

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: But master, you told me always to swallow... oh dear...the, ah, bushes, lord of the brunch, the bushes...

Ali The Z: Sigh, what ABOUT the bushes troubles you NOW, man?

Ali Hazen't Gottem Anymore: They, ah, well, they stopped shak...

Lost transmission............