Mel Gibson Rants...

"...It's become clear that Mel is an angry Jew-hater with a uniformed female fixation - who is fundamentally incapable of taking responsibility for his raving, ranting, vicious words and deeds.

That's right, America - Mel is a victim!

He does not require punishment, though I believe a good spank is what he secretly craves.

Let's all give Herr Gibson a big hug.

After watching Mel twitch, vibrate and giggle through his interview with Diane Sawyer yesterday - scratching his neck raw as if undergoing chemical withdrawals - I have to give this lunatic a break. He is, after all, an actor whose tombstone will forever be inscribed with the greatest phrase to come out of the thespian's mouth, "F - - - ing Jew."

But hey - it's not his fault!

You heard Mel say it. On the night he was picked up by cops in Malibu after slugging from a bottle of tequila in his car, he had not taken a single drink.

Rather, "Someone shoved a glass in front of [my] nose."

And Mel did not come crashing off the wagon. It wasn't his fault. He was under "too much pressure. Too much work."

And when he was stopped by the nice "patient" cop, who happened to be Jewish, it was not, as previously reported, Mel Gibson who taunted the poor civil servant with the words, "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." And who called a female cop, "sugar t - - s."

As he put it, "That's not who I am."

Well, who was it, Mel?

A skeptical Diane suggested alcohol enabled Mel to reveal his inner self. "In vino veritas." It's a phrase that's been kicking sleazy saloons for millennia.

Mel nearly jumped out of his chair rather than admit he harbors a bias against Jews that booze made plain.

"That's patently false!" protested Mel, the Latin expert.

"That's the old Roman saying. In vino veritas - they don't know what they're talking about! It's as simple as that."

This is a man who'd just admitted he continued pounding back beers early on the morning he was busted, as he confessed his sins to his seven children.

He is incapable of admitting that he chose to drink. And he can't get himself to say that he chose to use anti-Semitic language in an attempt to bully a cop. It nearly worked.

Along with anti-Semitism, Mel has revealed that he suffers from delusions of grandeur. He revealed that the disease from which he suffers is not common alcoholism or nasty prejudice, but "a sort of malady of the soul."

The cure? "Public humiliation on a global scale seems to be what was required."

Have another drink, Mel.

In the second part of his interview airing today, Mel said he realized that he did not just anger the Jews - he believes he terrified us!

"What I did was press a big fear button."

Thanks, buddy, but you're not that big and powerful, except in your own head.

You're an ugly drunk with a twisted mind."

Mel Gibson is one of those modern marvels known as religious liberals. Conservative as all holy hell when it comes to believing that the earth was created 5000 years ago by an invisible man in the sky, and liberal as a loon in just about every other way. Egotistical, fearful, whiny, the hits just keep on comin'. He hates the Jews because Daddy said they killed God. He hates the US because the media says it's President lied and people died. Made famous by soccer mom's the world over, Mel is one lucky son of a bitch who'd otherwise be working really hard at keeping that job as a Wal-Mart door greeter.