Monday, July 31, 2006

You Know Football Season Isn't That Far Away When...

"With the heat wave expected to get even more intense in the next couple of days, Mangini insisted that practices won't necessarily get shorter, but precautions will be taken.

"The most important thing for us is player safety," he said. 'We're conscious of that. We've talked extensively about the importance of hydration and we're monitoring that as we go along. We're not going to put anyone at risk.'"

...The all-emcompassing HYDRATION is upon everyone's lips. Some time ago, soccer moms felt that if DE-HYDRATION was bad, then HYDRATION must be good because their multi-purpose, wrinkle-ridder-drinks said so, and professional athletes caught on and began mouthing the words as pean's to the gods of fluidity. While big fat men do tend to perspire a great deal in 90+ temps with high humidity, watching the local "runners" traipse about the campus environs is nothing less than a certified hoot as they gulp down quart after quart of junkjuice to rest assured that their 100 yard gallop won't whittle them down to super-model status.

And if professional football adores a good HYDRATE, then just wait until the kids start cavorting to the clarion call of their version.

Try and convince them that beer doesn't count. I dare you.

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