North Of The Border...Where Common Sense Goes South

WASHINGTON - "Border guards stationed upstate are getting duped by fake driver's licenses on the same boundary where some of the 9/11 hijackers entered the country, government investigators have found.

In May, inept border agents let in two undercover investigators who presented fake Virginia and West Virginia licenses.

After asking where they were from and why they had visited Canada, the guards waved the investigators in - telling them to "Have a nice day."

The border sting was conducted by the Government Accountability Office on behalf a Senate committee."

And there's this I received:

Border Guard: "What brings you to Canada?"
Me: "I'm going to Ottawa to meet with some folks at IBM."
Border Guard: "Do you work for IBM?"
Me: "No, I work for Borland Software."
Border Guard: "Then, why are you going to meet with IBM?"
Me: "Well, we work together on the same project."
Border Guard: "Whose product is it?"
Me: "Uh, it's an open source project at Eclipse." (mistake #3)
Border Guard: "Who sells it?" (now I'm in trouble)
Me: "Nobody, actually. It's free software." (honesty is not seeming like the best policy here)
Border Guard: "So, who pays you?"
Me: "Borland does."
Border Guard: "So, does Borland pay the IBM employees on the project?"
Me: "No, IBM pays them." (clearly, I am never getting into Canada)
Border Guard: "I'm not sure I understand. How do you make money by doing this?"
Me: "Now, that is a great question that I don't think anyone has a good answer to yet." (mistake #4)
Border Guard: "OK, so do you have a Letter of Invitation?"
Me: "No." (mistake #5)
Border Guard: "Well, you'll need to have one filled out and faxed here before I can let you pass."
Me: "OK, thanks."

First off, there are bogus drivers' licenses and BOGUS'R drivers' licenses. Some wouldn't fool a blind man and others are top notch. Without a sophisticated chip, or bar code-like verification system or gear such as police use for traffic stops, a cursory glance at what appears to be a license isn't going to catch anyone trying to enter the country illegally. And as is the case with airport security, the staffing leaves much to be desired or haven't you experienced brain-dead 300 lb. waddlers with doughnut-dust mustaches lately.

Then there's the hassle in store for you in heading to or from Canada as evinced by the travelers report. Sure, I've gotten many a doubting glance upon informing the likes of Borneo security that I was there for the fun of it all, but very few countries will hassle tourists so NEVER say you're on business except when you've been unlucky enough to be sent to South America, but that's another tale.

Bottom Line: Until a dirty bomb takes out half of Los Angeles (NYC remains a prime target but not for the big one because there are too many moslems earning too much money and sending it back to Sandflea Central), border crossings are what they are and will stay that way. There are X-amount of suitable security personnel available and none of the good ones are standing inside a 6 by 6 shack for a living.