India: Youths to Sterilize Monkeys

NEW DELHI (AP) - A northern Indian state said Thursday it planned to use unemployed youths to sterilize monkeys to try to combat aggressive primates who have been raiding farms.

The idea drew immediate condemnation from conservationists, who said the plan was unscientific and would likely worsen the problem.

Indian authorities have struggled in recent years to deal with the tens of thousands of monkeys that live in and around cities. They are drawn to public places such as temples and office buildings, where devout Hindus feed them, believing them to be manifestations of the god Hanuman.

In a related story, U.S. officials have contacted Indian authorities seeking information concerning this program, with hopes of implementing something similar with regards to incarcerated illegal aliens who have been labeled as incorrigible offenders.

"If the Indian plan works then we've been seriously considering using our unemployed illegals to sterilize other unemployed illegals, then using even newer unemployed illegals to then sterilize them," an immigration control official said on conditions of anonymity. Mr. Phillips went on to offer that such an American program would use state-of-the-art methods, and that outright castration would only be considered as a last resort.