Saved By The Dork

So I'm getting a key made at the Wal-Mart sporting goods counter and I spy a glass case with some special sale items.

Among them, a Remington 30-06, with the following specs:

REMINGTON, 9765 7400 Autoloading Rifle, 30-06 Springfield, 22" Blue
Barrel, American Walnut Gloss Stock.

The gas-operated action yields softer recoil and speed for quick,
accurate follow-up shots. Weight distribution and slim line design
result in shotgun-like balance and pointability.
The Weathermaster has a durable, weather resistant black synthetic
stock and fore-end and matte nickel plated receiver, barrel and
magazine to provide protection from inclement conditions.

SPECIFICATIONS:

CALIBER: 30-06 Springfield
ACTION: Gas-operated, soft-recoiling autoloader, with rotary
bolt lock-up.
METAL FINISH: Carbon Steel
SIGHTS: Iron Sight and Drilled and Tapped
MAG TYPE: Detachable Magazine.
MAG CAPACITY: 4
TRIGGER:
COMB DROP: 1 3/16"
HEEL DROP: 2 1/4"
BARREL LENGTH: 22" or 18 1/2" Carbine
BARREL TYPE: Polished Blue/Matte Blue/Nickel Plated
STOCK FINISH: Satin or Gloss
OVERALL LENGTH: 42 5/8" or 39 1/8" Carbine
AVERAGE WEIGHT: 7 1/2 lbs or 7 1/4 lbs

So, hmmm, I says to myself, lets take a closer look.

WITH tax, $441 out the door.

Whew. I suddenly felt an impulse-buy coming on and Katey bar the door there should have been no stopping me.

So do you have any more of those or is that the price for that particular display model. Says I.

Gee, dunno. Says he.

Would you be kind enough to check for me. Not that it'd be a deal breaker but I sort of would like a fresh from the box rifle and all that jazz. Says I.

You want me to see if we have any more in the gun room? Says he.

That'd prolly do it. Says I.

Well I need to call the manager cuz I don't have no key. Says he.

That'd be fine as well. Says I.

tick tick tick tick tick tick........

Sorry I took so long but he's out back unloading a truck. Says he.

Think he'll be back anytime soon? Says I...feeling the impulse purchase frenzy-genie beginning to lose interest.

You could come back later, or call maybe. Says he.

Did you finish making that key? Says I.

Oh sure, here. Says he.

Bye now. Says I.

(PS: They also had a Winchester Super X Semi-Auto in 30-06 for $550 OTD. Thank the Lord the kid was a dunce.)