Who Am I...

"I am just so happy I don't know whether to shit or go blind! After all this time it is kind of sad that I am about to become a famous screenwriter when all of my blogging friends remain little nobodies...did I mention that the production company liked my script and has made an offer?

Ha, yeah I know, a thousand gazillion times, but an ego this size bears stroking, then repeat. So I'm going to be rich! At the very least the movie they'll adapt from my work will rival Titanic in gross sales, and since even an entry-level screenwriter gets 2% of the money spent on making the movie...with a backend that'll knock your socks off...let's figure something along the lines of a million-eight up front and the sky's the limit after that!

And I'm not playing softball when they come begging for the sequel. Nope. Ten percent of the budget upfront and an iron clad backend guaranteed to deposit another few mill into my account or they can get in line for the bidding wars.

Going to be hard for me to keep up will all of the email during this. Really hard. So don't be too upset if I can't answer you all, personally, for a while. Am thinking of getting some part-timer to reply to the tidal wave of congratulations, but you my loyal fans will get a hello back even if I have to do it myself.

But no matter how much you adore me you can't come close to feeling how I feel about me so don't think you care half as much as you should. None of you.

Ah hell, this isn't the time to bitch about the fence-sitters who don't tune in anywhere's near as often as they should. This is about how wonderful I feel after at long last being discovered for the absolute genius I have forever been."

And just think of how much more you'll love me after the whole world knows!"