Sunday, May 11, 2008

VIDEO RENTALS: CLOVERFIELD

CLOVERFIELD

I had high hopes for this giant-beast-stalks-Manhattan flick, and while Rotten Tomatoes gave it an overall 75% fresh, some notable reviewers had some terrible things to say about it.

Forget the negatives and rent the thing. You'll see a lot more of the monster than some critics were complaining about, and the extra stuff is fun to watch as well. Disregard what the director and producers and FX folks had to say about most everything because they nitpicked themselves to high heavens while missing my single biggest complaint about the movie.

The monster had NO motivation. Why was it doing not much of anything else but sashaying through midtown and lower Manhattan with a frenzy? The thing is some 350' tall, ugly as sin, and meaner than Rosie O'Donnell. It arrives via the Atlantic, snaps off the head of the Statue of Liberty, sinks some ships, then proceeds to wreck 40 kinds of hell on the streets and buildings of everyone's most beloved Big Apple. Oh, and drops some horrendous ticks along the way that provide some additional fun & run from our intrepid heroes and heroines.

Yes and it did remind me of 9-11. The collapsing structures, the smoke, fire and chaos. Back then the streets were overflowing with cops and firemen, but in CLOVERFIELD all we see are a cop or two and lots of Army men tossing everything at it but the kitchen sink. Sure, the protagonists are 20-somethings, model-thin and just as vapid, but there IS some good acting and directing going on. Rob, you see, is leaving for a VP big-wig job in Japan and his pals are tossing him a going away party. Okay, so why ANY company would give a vice presidency to a child that makes questionable important decisions is a stretch, but get past it and revel in their predicaments. During the shindig the buildings begin to shake rattle and threaten to roll, and off the gang goes into the mean streets to see what the ruckus is all about. Hey...it could have been ANOTHER wild ass party.

This IS NYC, after all, and while there was a tad too much weeping and wailing for my taste, there was bravery as well. Rob's friend Hud is filming the party and then gets to tape the traipsing about, and we see everything from his point of view. And I think I like the movie more now because the rental was just a fraction of a theater seat and that can make a world of difference in ones state of mind. Being scammed for $10 bucks is one thing, driving home with a handful of videos to enjoy at your leisure is quite another. Especially if you've the TV and sound system for it.

So anyway, there isn't a Hollywood ending...not going to offer any spoilers and my second biggest bitch was the old Japanese style of monster attack where Godzilla or Rhodan or Mothra or whatever never seemed to be much bothered by artillery and tank fire. Our boys are hitting old Clover with some serious ordnance and he pretty much walks through it as if someone replaced those depleted uranium rounds with Airsoft BB's. During the special add-on stuff the director agonizes over one yuppy-puppy artsy-schmartsy thing after another, while leaving some huge holes in our suspensions of disbelief. Typical. I couldn't care less about alternate endings, or that oh-so-special time where one actor or another OD'd on EMO, I want the basics done well and thats that.

Still and all it is enjoyable, fun even, and while not a bit scary at least monstrous but in a good way.

3 and a half double-taps.

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