I was taken aback when Mr. Fancy Schmancy shouted "A pox on both your houses!" as I was unaware that he knew of my summer home. Founding member of the Hogtown Irregulars, and former indentured short order cook still on the run. Professional Zamboni racer and bronze medal recipient in the 2010 All-Miami Outdoor Zamboni Championships.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Baggy-Pant Crackdown Nets Another Underwear Felon
"Since officers began their crackdown last month, they have arrested at least 11 other baggy pants perps (of that group, two are juveniles). Below you'll find mug shots of eight of the other nine arrestees, aged between 18 and 36. As seen in a series of Riviera Beach Police Department probable cause affidavits, each of the males was nabbed after officers determined that low-slung pants or shorts had resulted in the exposure of between two and five inches of the individual offender's boxer shorts. While most of the busts occurred without incident, a few of the arrestees appeared bewildered that they were being arrested for a trouser-related offense. One of the juveniles, in fact, cursed out Officer J. Thornton and said, according to one affidavit, "Your (sic) a cracker and ain't got shit better to do." First-time violators of ordinance 12-3043 face a fine of up to $150. Repeat offenders could be sentenced to a maximum of 30 days in jail."
Damn, but I'm sorry. Watching these idiots parade around so attired makes me want to inflict severe damage upon their health and dental records. Yes, I'm a hypocrite but at least I know it.
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