Sunday, May 22, 2011

Frost Cutlery: Back To Their Old Deceitful Ways...

"Now, we only have 500 of these custom knives left so git yer order in..." 

Stuttering Todd Boone

See, if you don't stay on top of them they fall back to their lying, thieving ways. 

It is impossible to have 500 of anything and call it "custom". But so far, and we're only into Cutlery Corner for an hour, its been an even dozen times Stuttering Toddy has referred to something as custom when they most certainly are not. For going on a month or thereabouts they'd been using "limited edition" to get the rubes to fork over their hard earned buckeroonies for potmetal, but since Todd has the memory of a ballpeen hammer he was bound to revert to normal.

Especially when Queen James is nowhere to be found. Stuttering Todd does his coughing, throat-clearing, sighing, forgetting the products name and/or item number geek show and it'd be far more entertaining for him to simply bite the heads off of some chickens to keep the Fudds a'watchin' because nobody likes an unprofessional, uncaring pitchman who all but picks his nose on screen. 

Past time for Queen James to put his foot down. Or better yet, up Toddy's ass.

And not for nothing, Stacey Combs who does the "customizing" for Frost is without a lick of talent. His scrimshawed knife handles resemble 3rd grade coloring books after blind children have had a go at 'em...with of course sincere apologies to blind children for mentioning them in the same breath with Mr. Stacey Combs.

And PS: There is no such a blade design as the "Worn Cliff" or "Warn Cliff" as Frost Cutlery advertises. Wharncliffe was of course the British Lord Wharncliffe who designed the blade circa 1822. You would think that a knife seller..who after all ships millions upon millions of knives a year and has been in business for over 40 years...would know a little about knives.

He does not. If it wasn't a Case design Aunt Jimmy wasn't interested back when he started the grift, and today if it isn't a TACTICAL he hasn't clue-one. He's smart enough to steal the designs of real knife-makers so one would imagine he or someone affiliated with him could read and write well enough to spell on the level of a 4th grader.

Doesn't seem so.

The knife pictured is a Rick Hinderer rendition of a Wharncliffe; priced somewhere along the lines of $400 and most certainly is no way shape or form associated with the potmetal offerings of Frost Cutlery.

No comments: