I was taken aback when Mr. Fancy Schmancy shouted "A pox on both your houses!" as I was unaware that he knew of my summer home. Founding member of the Hogtown Irregulars, and former indentured short order cook still on the run. Professional Zamboni racer and bronze medal recipient in the 2010 All-Miami Outdoor Zamboni Championships.
COOKE CITY, Montana -- A Canadian woman who was attacked by a bear in the middle of the night at a busy U.S. campground was bitten on her arm and leg before she instinctively played dead so the animal would leave her alone, she said Thursday.
At least one bear rampaged through the campground near Yellowstone National Park in the middle of the night Wednesday, killing one man and injuring Deb Freele of Ontario and another man.
Appearing on the network morning talk shows from a Wyoming hospital, Freele said she woke up just before the bear bit her arm.
"I screamed, he bit harder, I screamed harder, he continued to bite," she said.
Her survival instinct kicked in, and she realized that the screaming wasn't working.
"I told myself, play dead," she said. "I went totally limp. As soon as I went limp, I could feel his jaws get loose and then he let me go."
A frequent camper, Freele said that she was already prepared to go camping again hours after the attack, though she acknowledged that it will take time to recover both physically and emotionally.
She suffered severe lacerations and crushed bones from bites on her arms. The male survivor suffered puncture wounds on his calf. The nature of the dead victim's wounds were not revealed.
Then it was a grizzly. Black bears don't stop chomping if you play dead. The Grizz likes his play almost as much as the eating part, and if the struggle stops he'll often move on to more interesting game.
This idjit gal survives by the skin of her teeth then admits that she's going camping there again, as soon as possible.
Good. Those genes don't need to be passed on.
UPDATE ON THE UPDATE
Here's a picture of Little Miss Bear Lover Even Though They Tried To Eat Me
On second thought, I don't believe there's a chance in hell she'll pass along those genes.