Sunday, June 10, 2007

Paris-Ite Fearful Of Potty Pics

"Paris Hilton was so terrified guards would snap a cell-phone picture of her on the toilet that she didn't eat or drink for three days, which left her facing a life-threatening collapse, a source told the Daily News. She also was not taking prescribed medication while in jail, Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca said.

The stainless steel lavatory in the hotel heiress' 12-foot-by-8-foot cell was in plain view of a large window in the door, which guards could look through 24 hours a day.

"She was absolutely terrified that one of the guards or staffers would get her with the cell-phone cam and it would wind up on the Internet," a Hilton insider said yesterday.

"She didn't eat or drink a single thing for three days because she didn't want to use the toilet. She was in real danger."

Hilton also suffered from "extreme claustrophobia" and began hyperventilating and freaking out.

"She cried the entire time, and that wasn't helping the dehydration," the source said.

Jail medical officials became concerned that severe dehydration and a buildup of waste and toxins in Hilton's body could cause a complete collapse and "even kill her," the source said."

Yes, Paris-ite followers of all ages. Throwing a hissy-fit is now considered a medical problem. This, sadly enough, was inevitable. EVERYTHING is a disease nowadays. Getting a little older? Finding the usual duties of life somewhat daunting as of late? DISEASE. When it's of the physical varietal, that is, its a DISEASE, but disorders of the brain housing group variety must be referred to as "illnesses" unless senility gets backseated to a proper name like Alzheimer's. Can't have a bad day now and again, no siree Bob. You've experienced a life threatening event that could lead to your eventual demise. Crying, wailing actually, "doesn't help dehydration." they tell us. Stop the presses, but the real scoop is now the fact that weeping is on its way to becoming one of the newworld diseases. "A disordered or incorrectly functioning organ," the dictionary says. Can't wait for the day they make Kleenex available only by prescription.

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