...went 10-3 yesterday, bringing the yearly total to 56-46, or a winning percentage only slightly higher than twice that of CBS's Shannon Sharpe. Not that Shannon wasn't a good football player for he was, but, and this is just between me an you, okay, but have you ever seen a man who's head was so small for his body?
I mean, okay, we all know that black athletes like wearing those oversized suits with the gigunda shoulder padding and all and they always look hilarious like clowns getting out on a Volkswagen, but sweet mother of pearl, they should NEVER sit the man next to Boomer Esiason who's own head is twice the size of a prize winning pumpkin's.
And I'm certainly not attributing Shannon's total lack of football knowledge to his having a dolls head, no, his lack of understanding is do to the fact that he skated through high school and college because he was an athlete and never had to learn much of anything. Would'a been sort of cool though if somewhere along the line someone had taught him to speak even a smidgen of english, but it's not his fault that neither his family or the school systems felt it necessary to even wave the abc's by him once or, as Shannon would say "twicet". Doesn't help that he's found a job on television either. Not like the suits at CBS care if the man looks and sounds funny...hey, he was a famous athlete so what's with all this book-learnin' nonsense anyways?
Shannon's weekly predictions are so very bad that the rest of the dunderheads laugh at him, and you know it's so not cool when ex-football players think you're dumb, but I wish they'd spend a fraction of a moment longer on precisely what his record has been in picking the weekly winners. They gloss over it so quickly I didn't catch it today, but will try again next week.
And duh, I had me an epiphany. That's why moslems don't play football. It's the frickin' pigskin. Wonder if enough of them got together and protested the fact that using pigskin was an insult to their religion, I wonder if the NFL would cave in and change it.
Hey, you moslems out there, good idea or not?
UPDATE: On Monday Night Football, Pittsburgh squeaked out a win over Baltimore, bringing this weeks predictions to 11-3, and 57-46 for the season.
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