Home Office To Decide Upon Instituting Ban On Rope
In a grim attempt at revenge against his estranged wife, a British businessman committed suicide by decapitation in his Aston Martin sports car, the U.K.'s Daily Mail reported Friday.
According to the Mail, Gerald Mellin, 54, had been consumed with dark thoughts surrounding his 34-year-old wife's decision to leave him.
The day before his death, a court had granted Mirielle Mellin additional alimony, the Mail reported.
Following the decision, in the last contact with his wife, Mellin sent a text message reading, "Congratulations, XXX."
The businessman then reportedly tied one end of a rope he kept in his Aston Martin convertible to a tree and wrapped the other end of it around his neck as he sat in the driver's seat. He then drove the car at a high speed onto a busy road, forcing other drivers to witness his violent suicide, the Mail said.
Phillip Rogers, the coroner assigned to the case, ruled the cause of death as decapitation.
"I'm satisfied this was a deliberate attempt by Mr. Mellin to kill himself."
Proprietors of Hasting's Hardware and Sundries in Crumlin near Neath offered no comment to a report that members of the South Wales constabulary had inquired as to the wisdom of selling rope to so distraught an individual.
"We've petitioned the Home Office for years now to licence hemp products with regards to their availability to unbalanced persons," Coroner Rogers said to Daily Mail, "but the blokes have enough on their plate what with banning virtually all sharp objects in the country so we'll have to wait our turn."
Sales officials at Aston Martin did reveal however that come the availability of 2009 models, all DB7's will have an anti-decapitate-yourself-with-a-rope option, prompting the Minister of Suicide and Otherwise Wretched Affairs to applaud their ingenuity and respect for the well being of the general public.