Monday, March 28, 2011

Cutlery Corner Scam Alert: Volume 2,464,999

"...cough...hack...tap-tap...howdy folks I'm Todd Boone and this is Cutlery Corner..."

Just a heads-up for those who simply can't help themselves and continue to buy zinc pot metal disguised as knives from that disgusting old queen and Jaba-The-Hut lookalike, Jimmy Frost.

They continue to voice the outright lie that abalone is in danger of being placed on the endangered species list and is therefore becoming scarce. It is not, and it is not. A quick Google affords a look at over 57,000 places to buy abalone, and just one representative ordering house had over 600 various styles to choose from. Abalone remains abundant and cheap.

Why do they do it? First off they're liars. And swindlers, and grifters. And lending an urgency to an imaginary ban is what they hope will stimulate sales. Don't let them fool you. Buy what you want, when you want to, but do so as an educated consumer.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program featuring expectorations galore...aka plenty of spit with very little polish.


Bah_humbug said...

Abalone or A baloney. - you be the judge.

Fits said...

I was raised pronouncing it as Abaloney...which Webster's continues to offer as the proper pronunciation. NO ONE on Cutlery Corner pronounces it so. Then again, they don't pronounce very many English words correctly but now that you mention it I CAN understand why they'd refrain from saying anything that came close to baloney. Some intrinsic tsk-tsk that even the mentally deficient possess as a sort of trigger that prevents them from being discovered as charlatans. Or not.