Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Fidel says Hillary & Barack would be 'invincible': Updated With Audio Transcript

WASHINGTON - Viva Hillary! Viva Barack!

"That's apparently the feeling of Cuban leader Fidel Castro, who predicted in a newspaper column yesterday that a one-two punch of that duo, led by the New York senator, would easily land in the White House.

"Today, talk is about the seemingly invincible ticket that might be created with Hillary for President and Obama for vice president," Castro wrote in a piece about U.S. Presidents in the Communist Party paper, Granma.

While Castro seems to think the two would make a powerful combo, he wasn't all love and kisses for the Democratic front-runners, who have demanded greater democratic reforms in Cuba.

"Both of them feel the sacred duty of demanding 'a democratic government in Cuba,'" Castro wrote. "They are not making politics: They are playing a game of cards on a Sunday afternoon."

The dictator's remarks came at the end of a screed basically mocking the efforts of nine U.S. Presidents who failed to topple him. The only President he really seemed to like was Jimmy Carter, although he called Bill Clinton "kind" and "friendly."

Audio Transcript Accompanying Picture:

"Dear Diary,

Even though I have been dead for many months now, I do believe that I still look marvelous enough to turn many a young girls' head. Why, I remember when Raul and I were young and would chase the young women into the caves along the Havana beachfront and laugh and laugh as we buried them there. Our father found out about it and he said to me face to face and looking all serious like, he said, "Fidel, someday you will be a mass murderer and inhuman dictator!" Raul still kids with me about that because at the time I thought father meant dictation-taker, but it was Raul who was even more wrong than I as he believed father felt I would be a sissy boy as in dick-taker. Well, no harm done because alls well that ends well, no? But back to Hillary and Hussein; yes, indeed I feel that so ugly a woman stands a chance because the women of the US will flock to her in sympathy, hey listen, Oprah isn't exactly gorgeous if you take my drift, and Hussein is such a clean negro, is he not? Why, even my old comrade Joe Bend-Over-Biden thinks so too as he was the first one to mention it and this leads me to believe that he has seen Hussein from a kneeling-level-view and knows of what he speaks. Me? I've never liked uncircumcised men and any old queen with a beard will tell you why... "

I've been saying all along that Rodham and Hussein would draw the most loon votes possible, because one must learn to think like the enemy in order to kill it. Proof positive that they ARE the enemy resides in the words of the cubano commie, who also felt warm and cuddly with Mr. Peanut and Blowjob Willy.

Lefties stick together, and real people could learn a lot from that.

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