The Only Ones Feeling Them Up Enough

Miami Beach officer charged with fondling suspect

"Weeks after fondling a woman suspected of drunken driving, authorities say, a married Miami Beach police officer met the same woman at a South Beach bar, bought drinks and tried to kiss her.

What Officer Eduardo Macias didn't know was that the woman was wearing a recorder and cooperating with internal affairs detectives, authorities said.

Today, following a yearlong investigation, Macias, 32, will surrender to face charges of official misconduct, perjury and battery. He is the fourth officer in Miami-Dade County during the past five months to be arrested on sex-related charges."

Hmm. Maybe they need a fondling-range. Someplace to go to learn how NOT to reach inside a woman's blouse even if she's just asking for it. Have a drink at each station on the course, continuing to refrain from snapping a bra strap along the way, something like that. Arrive at a blood alcohol level of .10 while STILL maintaining a sense of professionalism and something akin to human dignity and you pass.