QUICK! RUN AWAY!

Police E-mail Warns Of Rise In Crime

ATLANTA -- "Thousands of Atlanta residents have received an email warning from a police major about rising, violent crime in Zone 5, which includes neighborhoods in downtown and midtown.

Major Khirus Williams sent out the alert after a string of robberies and carjackings Monday night.

Here is some of what he wrote:

"Please, let us all keep our exterior lights on to illuminate the area. This makes the area unpopular for criminals!

"Also, please have your family, friends, and neighbors to blow their horn when arriving. This allows us to watch for them until they arrive, inside, safely. Open the window dressings and hi-light them with a flash-light. Thus, the criminal element would be aware that someone is watching!

"Furthermore, we have to minimize just visiting in the drive way, or sidewalks, at nights. I know that this is unfair, but the criminals are becoming more brazen and this is their method of attack.. Patrols throughout the City are not as common as they were in the past, as a result of furloughs.

"In closing, we have to do things differently than we did in the past, until there is a change. Please, let us minimize the opportunity for us to become victims and assist others as they return home. "

Mjr. Williams say 2 to 5 men wearing hoodies that cover their faces are armed with guns and approaching people even when they're in groups and in lighted areas."

REWIND

Now imagine yours truly in the same position:

"Thousands of Atlanta residents have received an email warning from a police major about rising, violent crime in Zone 5, which includes neighborhoods in downtown and midtown.

Major Fits sent out the alert after a string of robberies and carjackings Monday night.

"Get and remain armed and vigilant, people. See some mope messing with your property, then shoot the sucker in the face, but dammitall be sure to call us to remove the body before it starts stinking up the neighborhood. That is all and as you were."