Because Law Enforcement Hasn't Had Much Of Anything Else To Be Terrified About Lately:
"Meet the pistol that fits in your pocket - and packs a hell of a punch.*
The SwissMiniGun is the size of a key fob but fires tiny 270mph bullets powerful enough to kill at close range.
Officially the world's smallest working revolver, the gun is being marketed as a collector's item and measures just 2.16 inches long (5.5cm). It can fire real 4.53 bullets up to a range of 367ft (112m).
The stainless steel gun costs £3,000 although the manufacturers also produce extravagant, made-to-order versions made out of 18-carat gold with customised diamond studs which sell for up to £30,000.
It cannot be imported into the UK, and buyers in Switzerland and Europe must produce an import permit from police to obtain one.
The gun is banned from being imported into the US - because it's barrel is less than three inches, meaning it is deemed too small to qualify for sporting purposes."
Somewhat true but not really. There is a lengthy point-system for importing firearms, but this is hilarious so lets continue:
"Jonathan Spencer (oh my! Not THE Jonathan Spencer?), consultant forensic scientist and firearms expert, said that although the gun, which fires bullets at a speed of 399 feet a second, was tiny, it could still prove fatal and in the eyes of the law was as dangerous as a machine gun.
He said: "The general threshold for perforating the skin is about 330 feet a second.
"Apart from bone, skin offers the greatest resistance to penetration. If it can pass through the skin it is potentially lethal, even if the bullets are small.
"If you shoved something 3mm across into someone's chest you could kill them. It's the same with these bullets, they could penetrate the heart.
"It is capable of killing someone. Under section 5 of the Firearms Act it would be a prohibited weapon. It would be on the same scale as a machine gun."
The gun shoots 2.34 mm calibre rim fire ammunition especially developed for it as the smallest rim fire ammunition in the world."
Exiting skin is several times more difficult than penetrating skin, and penetration is predicated on various factors such as bullet design and precisely what is meant by penetration. An inch? Two inches? A millimeter? Saying that an underpowered novelty pellet-gun can cause death when it might not go any deeper than half an inch is ludicrous, BUT what we've come to expect from such "experts".
"The gun is the first product of the SwissMiniGun company, a gunsmiths based at La Chaux-de-Fonds, Switzerland.
Owner Paul Erard said that since the product's launch three years ago, the firm had sold around 300 of the guns, mainly to collectors in the Middle and Far East.
He said: "We are producing in very small quantities - perhaps 25 gold guns and 100 steel guns a year, and there is a six month waiting list to get one.
"We will make whatever the customer wishes for. The most expensive version we have sold cost £30,000 and was covered in diamonds and came with a gold chain."
Other bespoke finishes available include ebony grips, hand engraved grips, gold grips with diamonds or collared precious stones.
Mr Erard said that although the double action revolver is similar in appearance to a Colt Python full-size weapon, it was actually based on a Swiss-made revolver.
In September 2006 the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives(ATF) in New York issued a warning about the gun after being alerted by a police officer who spotted it on a website.
Special Agent William McMahon said the gun was so small it could pass for a key fob, and warned it made the perfect stealth weapon for serious criminals."
Uh-huh. The perfect weapon for serious criminals who want to wait six months and spend thousands of dollars for something as lethal as blowing spitballs through a straw.
"But Mr Erard denied the gun was deadly and said it was only a tenth as powerful as some air guns.
"Since September 11 there has been a lot of paranoia in America", he said.
"It is ridiculous. Why would criminals want my gun when you can go out and buy a Kalashnikov there already?"
Sorry about that, Mr. Erard. Here you thought you were making a fun little item, a novelty gadget for the uber-wealthy, but instead found yourself up against the dreaded LESDBL (law enforcement shitting down both legs) syndrome.
And by the way, what is it, fella's? 4.53 or or 2.34 mm's?
Gotta admit; they're cool little suckers and for, let's say, a tenth the price would be neat to own.
Just don't let Smith & Wesson anywhere near the thing or they'll be drilling a Hillary-Hole and making special versions that come included with a magnifying glass so as to better read the Thunder Ranch logo.
Bottom Line Time: They are not available here, are quite expensive to own and operate, and since there are lots cheaper ways to obtain REAL deadly devices we can safely say that all members of law enforcement can come out from under the covers now because bad gun isn't going to hurt you.
*A hell of a punch if one happens to be a small insect. Perhaps.
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