Sunday, March 26, 2006

Packing in the Big Apple

New York Post Online Edition: news

March 26, 2006 -- "Billionaires are going ballistic.
Ronald Lauder has joined trigger-happy tycoons Donald Trump and Seagrams scion Edgar Bronfman Sr. as the richest men in the city packing heat, according to the NYPD's gun-permit list."
And The Post is a Conservative newspaper. This is what NYC does to you. If you carry a gun you are trigger-happy, and newsworthy. But this is a web log and not some lame ass newspaper, so here's the real scoop on guns in The City:

So you want to conceal carry?

Bottom line time: Retain the services of an attorney specializing in carry permits. The phonebook will have a special section devoted to them under both Lawyers and Attorney's At Law. The classifieds will often feature ads from the more successful ones.

It'll cost you $3000 to start, a good one will secure the permit for you in a couple of months, and by then the bill will be somewhere along the lines of $8-$10 grand.

The background check includes parking tickets, and don't even think of applying unless you've a clean driving record as well. Nor even the most minor of felony's to your record. Spit on the sidewalk lately and receive a scofflaw summons? Too bad. No gun for you.

If you do happen to be so squeaky clean, the lawyer will coach you, dress you, and parade you around to the various licence venues. He'll be sure to have lunch with one of the clerks of an issuing judge and casually comment upon how costly re-election campaigns can be. He knows the ropes and as long as you hold up your end of the bargain it's a done deal. Then you must KEEP your record spotless, or the permit will be revoked or they will refuse to re-issue.

If you can afford it, it can be done, but no, if you've no connections and hire a lameass attorney (there's another kind?), and are young and/or show-up looking like DeNero in Taxi Driver, forget it.

Many, if not MOST of the well-known anti-gun celebrities and activists have such permits, and it's far easier for them because the liberal courts and police just know that they really hate the evil things, but DO have to protect themselves from the 30% of the population who identify themselves as registered Republicans.


Lemuel Calhoon said...

If I HAD to live in NYC I would spend the money.

Fits said...

Years back I did, and never regretted it, Lem. Problem is, most longtime NY'ers have accumulated so very many minor infractions of this and that it becomes hard for them if up against a particularly liberal judge. I was lucky in having spent a great deal of time away, as well as having longtime political connections made by my Father.

Lemuel Calhoon said...

I like the city. I go every couple of years, but the friend I go to see is a federal cop. He always carries a spare .38 so he can always toss me a gun if things go bad.

Most people don't have a cop that they can use as a holster.

Fits said...

Good friend.