So okay; they have these 300 pound tubs of lard sitting on their creaking stools. They wave you this way, wave you that way, and sometimes even look at you so that you might even be able to tell they are speaking to you, and raise their voice to a level slightly above what a dogs ear can pick up. They're disgusting to look at, make one ashamed to share a species with, and get the plumb security jobs everywhere. Make that plumb jobs of all sorts, actually.
Now I'm not saying that some doofus didn't just act like the brain dead doofus he was and walked all over the place setting off alarms for no reason, but Delta at LaGuardia is the biggest joke you can imagine. The tubs of lard direct traffic, hither, dither, and yon, and won't even stop to swallow or wipe the mayonnaise from their cheeks and lips and hair so as to be rendered intelligible. The poor fellow could have been responding to what he THOUGHT was English.
Muu dat bag dere. Be waitin I git t'ya.
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"The Delta terminal at LaGuardia Airport was evacuated yesterday after a man whose shoes set off a security alarm put his footwear back on and walked away from the screening area, officials said.
The evacuation and terminal-wide search caused nine flights to be delayed or diverted.
After two hours, the passenger had still not been located, but flight operations were returned to normal.
The incident unfolded about 3p.m., when the man had his shoes swabbed for explosive residue and, possibly thinking his screening was complete, put them back on and walked away from the checkpoint, a Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman said.
When the machine testing the swab sounded an alarm, screeners were unable to find the man. (yes, they had to get off of their stools and...gasp...walk)
Authorities stopped outbound flights and searched the terminal for the man, then evacuated at 3:45 p.m. and continued searching with tracking dogs.
Normal operations resumed about 5 p.m., TSA spokeswoman Andrea McCauley said, and officials continued looking for the man.
Delta spokesman Anthony Black said several outbound flights were delayed two to three hours, while two flights were diverted to Kennedy Airport.
"We have no idea how we're going to get to Kennedy on time," said Columbia University student Meagan Cummings, 19, who was headed to Florida for spring break. "No one, not even the employees, knows what's going on. It's insane."
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