POISON PENN

April 20, 2008 -- "Bitter? You better believe it.

Democratic stalwarts, excited by two groundbreaking candidates and a strong shot at the White House, are wondering what the heck happened. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are mud wrestling their way through Pennsylvania, while John McCain enjoys a jolly honeymoon.

In short: The magic's gone.

That became even more obvious after a debate that helped neither candidate Wednesday night, after which Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean pleaded for superdelegates to make up their mind - now.

Dean, who last month called on superdelegates to declare their allegiance by July 1, seems increasingly worried about the impact the protracted primary is having on Democrat's prospects for the White House. "I need them to say who they're for starting now. We've got to know who our nominee is."

Blame it on Pennsylvania - the Keystone State that's become the Tombstone State."

Hillary will win Pennsylvania, then turn to the super-dee-duper-we-don't-need-no-stinkin voters delegates and say, "See! He can't win ANY of the big states!"

And should the democrat candidate be defeated by John McCain, loons the country over are preparing yet another victim-fest to weep by.

If Obama takes the hit it'll be because the country was too racist. Clinton goes down to defeat and it's because the country was too sexist.

We've got 'em where we want 'em, because their believing in imaginary forces of evil blinds them to the genuine reasons democrats have a hard time getting a majority of the people to vote for them on a national level. Were they to discover the REAL reasons even the highly worshiped Bill Clinton never got 50% of the tally they just might alter their tactics to fool more of the people some of the time.

Let them think we're sexist and racist and a bag of chips too. I've always found it to be fun when loons run screaming into the night and this time around we may very well be treated to a fool's extravaganza to beat all.

"THE COUNTRY JUST WASN'T READY FOR...(insert liberal schmuck here)"