Alien vs. Predator
Yeah I finally saw it. Dumb humans fighting dumb Predators who've arrived to fight the all-seeing, all-knowing, Aliens.
The...boy but ain't them beasts smart, Jurassic Park Syndrome. Cool premise done very badly. No one can shoot or stalk or act like they have half a brain, and these are supposedly smart humans and not people from New Orleans.
The plot sickens...
The Predators have been visiting earth for some time, and put together one helluva cool Alien-Arena in South America. Using humans as incubators, they arrive every 100 years for a battle royale against these genius-level-but-no-civilization Aliens. A band of researchers stumble into the mess just as it's Circus Maximus time again, and of course the only one who can save the day is the black-girl-scientist. At 5-4 she somehow stands next to a 7-foot Predator and is only a head shorter, but hey, it's Hollywood and they can't be disrespecting her now. She's plenty dumb herself, but the Aliens attacking her are slow, seemingly half-blind, and almost as dumb, so she...
Nah. I'll leave the stupid PC ending for you to discover, and won't say anything about the other actors save for the fact that some of them weren't as unattractive as the lead, and might have learned more than two emotions. Surprised, or not surprised.
The cinematography was horrid, the directing slapdash, and it was quite clear that there was never any script and that the actors would assemble daily to run around shouting and screaming until everyone was too tired to continue. They edited it into an hour and a half, dubbed in some dialogue, and probably made some money on this putrid piece of absolute garbage.
But, if it DID make some cash, then look for Alien Versus Predator 2, where misunderstood Chicanos from the hood team with misunderstood Militant Moslems from the sandbox to save all of humankind.
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