Thursday, April 10, 2008


Reuters Special Report

Presidential hopeful Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton arrived at China's busy Beijing Airport this morning, and came under immediate Kung-Fu fire from militant Tibetans objecting to her visit.

Accompanied by her daughter Chelsea, Mrs. Clinton immediately donned camouflaged gear and the two women kicked and clawed their way out of trouble then were rushed to an awaiting car on the tarmac.

The Chinese government has issued a formal apology, stating that in a way they were pleased that it was Mrs. Clinton who was attacked, since she has had so much practice at eluding incoming fire and that they never truly feared for her safety.

The Clinton Campaign camp issued a terse, "Another day, another successful combat mission," retort, adding that it would take a lot more than some crazy monks to deter Mrs. Clinton from her appointed rounds.

Representatives of Illinois Senator Barack Obama offered that such behavior was typical of Asians, and that Mrs. Clinton's response was typical of a white woman, adding that were it to have happened to Senator Obama he would have spoken to them about genuine change and stopped all hostilities before they began.

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