Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Pink Locker Room Driving The Pinkos Crazy...Time For Lefty-No-Pest-Strips?

People Seeing Red Over Pink Locker Room - Yahoo! News

IOWA CITY, Iowa - The pink visitors' locker room at the University of Iowa's stadium is making some people see red.

Several professors and students joined the call Tuesday for the athletic department to do away with the pink showers, carpeting and lockers — a decades-long Hawkeye football tradition.
Critics say the use of pink demeans women, perpetuates offensive stereotypes about women and homosexuality, and puts the university in the uncomfortable position of tacitly supporting those messages.

I want the locker room gone," law school professor Jill Gaulding told a university committee studying the athletic department's compliance with NCAA standards, including gender equity.

Well I want Jill gone but what can you do, ya know? I'm sitting here trying to figure out why, after decades of it being this way, the color pink is suddenly evocative of demeaning women, homosexuals and probably Easter Bunny's the world over, and the answer as most answers usually are, is simple.

We've in the mother of all politically correct era's and what's one more ludicrous assertion in a sea of ludicrous assertions. Why not be a Jill and carve another notch in your stupidity belt - hell, the NCAA opened the door with it's no-Indian-mascot ban, and once the door is open it draws flies, disgusting creepy crawlers, and of course liberals.

Which brings me to the realization that Anti-Pest-Strips For Lefties is a product worth looking into. Annoying creatures invading your premises? Just hang the life-sized Anti-Lefty-Strip in a conspicuous place and, as they say in Kentucky, Vi-Oh-La, no more moonbats. It'd have to be disguised as say, a limping deer, or a gun owner handing his weapons over, or a crying flag burner who's run out of lighter fluid, or even Cindy Sheehan backed into a corner waving what appears to be a rolling pin at invading military recruiters...anything sure to draw a lefty loons attention. Topical and/or seasonal Strips could be used, with the flavor of today being for example a smiling effigy of a disheveled college student holding a "Impeach Bush" petition, or something resembling Diane Feinstein or even Chuckie Schumer waving a "Judge Roberts Hates Civil Rights" pamphlet that your average run of the mill pinko would be unable to resist.

Lefties are notoriously weak-kneed and weak-armed, so we wouldn't need an awful lot of sticky stuff to hold them fast, and collection days could be set up to remove the offending loons from the premises and bring them to some sort of collection point where they'd be hosed off, given as many lattes as necessary to bring them around, and then released back into the wild having learned a valuable lesson, and reluctant to dash off into whatever babbling nonsense used to draw their attention.

It's just the right thing to do. Humane even. Not that I'm big on humane, but I honestly feel that some of these dolts can be saved, and if I'm wrong then what have we lost for the trying? There are already too many dumpsites dedicated to one sort of waste or another, and using otherwise perfectly good property for a liberal-landfill should only be contemplated as a last resort. Short term, Catch & Release is definitely the way to go.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Just don't release those thugs in my neighborhood. They tend to go on and on about nothing whatsoever, thereby wasting my valuable time.