Saturday, January 22, 2011

Escaping From The Drunk Tank...We Give You (So Please Take Him)...The Great Todd Boone

Tap-tap. Tap...

"...every 15 minutes give or take a minute or two, your name will be entered, sorta like thrown in a hat, to win, to maybe to win this beautiful 3 blade abalone on a toothpick frame...and we've got us a winner...Jon.....come on Jodie announce the name of the winner..."

And I'm sure Jon Drake is thanking Jodie for pronouncing his name so emint, so elegrant, so elegantly..."

Yep only Todd Boone could mispronounce a word in an attempt to poke fun of his drab, monotone producer's mispronunciation of words. And the reason Todd rarely ever actually names an item for sale...he simply identifies what type of knife it because of his legendary ability to mispronounce even the most simple of words. He lashes out because, as is the case with most insecure dolts, his attacks are predicated upon his own weaknesses.

But its good to have him back, especially after listening to Sheila-Man-Hands-Travis trying to take his place.

And stupid old me, I've tried ordering from Cutlery Corner. Again. Just placed an order for CCN-21618. Haven't received any confirmation via email. Checking my account status there is no mention of any order.  But we'll see. The intent was to order some cheap knives from Frost Cutlery then  do a review of the materials, etc. 

The 2 knaaaahvs were $12, and the shipping, I think, was $13.10. UPS Ground. I think. On eBay, every hour of the day every day of the week you can order junk steel fashioned to somewhat resemble a knife for $6 and $3 or $4 shipping. You aren't getting the entertainment value, however, but what you are getting is an immediate response from eBay and PayPal that the order went through and was paid for.

But like I've said, there is no indication that the order was taken, so who knows. If it did, then I'll feature a head-to-head competition between Frost and a Kershaw. 

Oh and even if the order did, by some miracle go through, there's no chance of my winning the free knaaahf. The show is taped approximately 6 hours before airing here, and very few folks have the capabilities of going back in time, regardless of what the hosts say. Or maybe they think they can go forward in time. To my present and their future. Shit. This is going to cause them all sorts of problems when they read this and try to understand what I'm saying.


12:20 PM, Saturday: Nope. Still no indication of my placing an order over at Frost Cutlery. Makes their "giveaway" bullshit even more hideous; trying to hoodwink the hoodwinkable into believing that they're paying any attention to late night and weekend orders. I have done internet business with Amazon, eBay, a host of knife shops and too many firearm parts places to remember, and have yet to experience this level of incompetency. 

If even a third of the horror stories about Frost are true, these folks are arch criminals so I'll wait until Monday afternoon then try to cancel what they've yet to acknowledge. With such vaunted ineptitude it wouldn't surprise me to have them A) send an incorrect product, B) double or triple bill me, 3) find the order come next Christmas then add on a price increase before sending.

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