Sunday, August 12, 2007

What To Do When Your A Crime Victim Within The United States?



"You've heard it before and now here it is again: Never resist if you are the victim of a robbery. Do exactly as you are told to do in order to minimize your chances of being injured and to speed the departure of your assailant before he gets other ideas. The assailant, in most cases, doesn't want to hang around much longer than you want him to. Your money and other valuables can hopefully be replaced. If they can't be replaced don't let that thought cause you to hesitate. You certainly cannot be replaced. Try to obtain a good description of the suspect(s) and the direction and mode (on foot, vehicle) of escape. It's always a good idea to have a second bill fold with a few dollars and a few important looking cards in it to give to an attacker should the need arise. Keep your real cash and cards in an interior pocket not easily accessible by the robber. However, do not resist any attempt the attacker may make to search your pockets or belongings."

Detective Kevin Coffey
"The Scholar of Thievery"

Well, after passing a bubble through my nose with laughter upon reading Kevin's self-proclaimed title, it was time to get down to brass tacks.

Appearing to be a defenseless victim is precisely WHY people are robbed. Sounds like common sense, doesn't it? Cops like Kev don't want you to put up much of a fuss because catching crooks is what speeds along THEIR career goals, and leaving nothing but a cooling corpse to tag and transport isn't getting ANYONE promoted anytime soon, ya hear?

Countless statistics to the contrary, it is singularly amazing that idiots such as this not only exist, but become media darlings for promoting safe working conditions for criminals. Think of them as the OSHA of law and order.

In the real world, do everything you can to appear less of a prime candidate for felonious assaults, and that includes being armed and ready. Be aware of your surroundings and the neighborhoods you must live and do business in. If attacked, fight back with everything you've got.

And then some.

Kev is an LA Loon, and while suggesting that the Dolt of Detectives is far more appropriate a moniker, we do hereby award him the coveted Messenger "Dumber Than A Fucking Monkey" award for abject stupidity in the line of duty.

Another good catch by The War on Guns.

PS: The headline is taken directly from Kev's website, hence the misuse of "Your". Can't spell, sucks at writing, but damn if he doesn't give one helluva gay pose though.

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