Back when I was running the blog over at AOL I'd have jumped all over the Oscar's, but it's just not no fun anymores. Predict, as Ann Coulter does, the most insulting liberal alternate lifestyle bullshit to win in every category, and you'll either run the table, or miss one here or there because you weren't aware of the insider fighting that blackballed an otherwise perfectly good movie about gay communists who move out west to rope horses in their spare time while working towards their lifelong dream of opening a transvestite nightclub for drug addicts, and must finance the whole thing by running an abortion clinic. For blacks.

Here's what Ann has to say:
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"This is my first annual Oscar predictions column, for which I am uniquely qualified by not having seen a single one of the movies nominated in any category. I've never even watched an Oscar ceremony, except once when a friend called me 35 minutes into Halle Berry's acceptance speech and I managed to catch only the last 20 minutes of it.

I shall grant my awards based on the same criteria Hollywood studio executives now use to green-light movies: political correctness. Also, judging by most of the nominees this year, the awards committee prefers movies that are wildly unpopular with audiences.

The box office numbers for this year's favorite, "Brokeback Mountain," are more jealously guarded than the nuclear codes in the president's black box. Hollywood liberals want the government to release everything we know about al-Zarqawi, but refuse to release the number of people who have seen "Brokeback Mountain." I shall summarize the plots of the five movies nominated for best picture below:

"Brokeback Mountain" (gay) —
"Capote" (death penalty with bonus gay lead) —
"Crash" (racism) —
"Good Night, and Good Luck" (McCarthyism) —
"Munich" (Jew athletes at Munich had it coming)