AMSTERDAM, Netherlands -- The camera focuses on two gay men kissing in a park. Later, a topless woman emerges from the sea and walks onto a crowded beach. For would-be immigrants to the Netherlands, this film is a test of their readiness to participate in the liberal Dutch culture.
If they can't stomach it, no need to apply.
Despite whether they find the film offensive, applicants must buy a copy and watch it if they hope to pass the Netherlands' new entrance examination.
The test - the first of its kind in the world - became compulsory Wednesday, and was made available at 138 Dutch embassies.
Taking the exam costs $420. The price for a preparation package that includes the film, a CD ROM and a picture album of famous Dutch people is $75.
"As of today, immigrants wishing to settle in the Netherlands for, in particular, the purposes of marrying or forming a relationship will be required to take the civic integration examination abroad," the Immigration Ministry said in a statement.
The test is part of a broader crackdown on immigration that has been gathering momentum in the Netherlands since 2001.
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Now that sounds like a fine idea. I would recommend the following as mandatory viewing for those who would seek a life in these United States:
Fade In: From a distance, we spy the approach of an airliner. It lands, and a smiling couple are whisked through Immigration.
Fade Out
Fade In: From a distance, we spy the approach of a ragtail band of travelers. They reach US soil and are met by an unsmiling band of Texas Rangers...
Fade Out
Fade In: A tired horse stands next to a leafless tree.
Cut To: A rope being tossed over the highest branch.
Fade Out
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Testing....
Uh huh. Things are royally screwed.
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