In Perspective...

I've been looking for sources...that's a lot less self-important than saying "studying the situation" like someone who worked at the TIMES would offer...to put what's happening in France in some sort of perspective and have come to the conclusion that if Jake the snake isn't all that worried about this than neither should I.

Why was I worried? Aside from the obvious distate for rioting moslems, the culture of Paris is something that would be dreadful to lose and really now, even the most ardent of Frog-haters would probably dislike seeing the Louvre burn to the ground. The French owe their vineyards to the Roman Legonaires who brought their grapes with them, their cuisine from Napolean's chefs who were all Italian, and the very language from the piglatin they were forced to learn because speaking genuine Latin was forbidden when one was a conquered province. I think of them as shadowy Romans, never close to the real thing but second or third cousin borrowers of everything good and give them credit, they knew what to steal then call French.

But Jake isn't hot and bothered. Not even as hot and bothered as he was back in the summer of 2003 when the European heat wave killed over 15,000 senior citizens in little over a months time. He was on vacation, stayed on vacation, and would pop in now and again to tell the elderly that they should go to the movies, see lots of movies because movie theaters are airconditioned.

It finally got his goat when the media took notice, it's not like the US where less than 1000 people perish from a hurricane and so what if we evacuated an area the size of Great Britain in 3 or 4 days, it was a tragedy of epic proportions according to the media, and the when the media takes notice of the goings on in France Jake gets pissed. Anyone in his party, from secretary's to the janitorial staff, anyone who criticized his vacationing while the elderly burned were given the boot. Not for long, mind you, for white folks of French origin don't have to worry about food on the table, but Jake was angered to have been bothered while he was relaxing and let it be known that in no uncertain terms was the heatwave a disaster, and that France had weathered far more serious crises situations and would ride this one through just fine thank you very much.

So now the moslems, not immigrants either, these guys are second and third generation Frenchmen so calling them immigrants is simply wrong, the moslems are cranky over all of those wacky things like special identity papers that only they have to carry, and the fact that anyone with a first or last name that even remotely identifies them as of arabian extraction, well, no soup for you.

No jobs, no hope of getting out of the old town, kinda sounds like Sioux City Iowa but without the meth problem. I do not believe for a nanosecond that this hasn't been planned right down to how much gasoline goes in each and every 2-liter coke bottle, and am of the opinion that the bigshots...moslem shaman...have done a lot to incite these dreadful goings on and would like nothing better than to call it off as soon as Jake coughs up enough cash to make it worth their while.

But Jake lapped up the rays back in '03 when THOUSANDS of REAL Frenchmen were dropping like flies, and to imagine that a death or two here and there will make him do something drastic, say, allow the police to fight back or something as horrid as that, is sheer folly. Sure he's worried and pissed about all of the negative press...France is nothing if not the epitome of egotism and Jake is the penultimate egotist in his own right...he's distressed that France will be seen in a less than favorable light and that means a smack to the old viva la France and the tourist dollars could start going south.

But how much lighter fluid and spare gas can these rioters really have? Is it worth it to fight them? To reduce France to actually, gasp, fighting, is beyond belief for someone of Chirac's demeanor and doing nothing has worked pretty damned good so far so why not continue.

So they'll make more cars. They'll rebuild the burned down shops and homes and businesses, and that means work for real Frenchmen. Sure, the rioters will get tossed a bone here and there, and some serious cash will change hands under the table, but why do anything else? Jake knows that this was in all likelyhood a dress rehearsal, and to show them what he'd do if they REALLY thought to topple the Eiffel Tower would be tipping his hand, and Jake's a good enough scumbag, strike that, politician, to know when to play things close to the vest.

Besides, he's not getting younger and they're probably years away from mounting a genuine revolution and by then it's retirement time so why should he care? His predecessors will have to pay off the moslems of the future and the more of the oil for food money that Jake can get out of office with, the more he and the family can retire to a life of luxury, so let them eat sterno.

Jake knows this is all a show, and he's neither worried nor impressed. And on that note, neither am I, so call me when the real deal happens. Or when the French do something stupid or funny that I can laugh at.