Weekly Dose Of Blondage

What happens when blithering idiots make less than prudent decisions...

Ann Coulter

"However the Duke lacrosse rape case turns out, one lesson that absolutely will not be learned is this: You can severely reduce your chances of having a false accusation of rape leveled against you if you don't hire strange women to come to your house and take their clothes off for money.

Also, you can severely reduce your chances of being raped if you do not go to strange men's houses and take your clothes off for money. (Does anyone else detect a common thread here?)

And if you are a girl in Aruba or New York City, among the best ways to avoid being the victim of a horrible crime is to not get drunk in public or go off in a car with men you just met. While we're on the subject of things every 5-year-old should know, I also recommend against dousing yourself in gasoline and striking a match.

Everyone makes mistakes, especially young people, but the outpouring of support for the victims and their families is obscuring what ought to be a flashing neon warning for potential future victims.

Whenever a gun is used in a crime, there are never-ending news stories about how dangerous guns are. But these girls go out alone, late at night, drunk off their butts, and there's nary a peep about the dangers of drunk women on their own in public. It's their "right." Yes, of course no one "deserves" to die for a mistake. Or to be raped or falsely accused of rape for a mistake.

I have always been unabashedly anti-murder, anti-rape and anti-false accusation — and I don't care who knows about it! But these statements would roll off the tongue more easily in a world that so much as tacitly acknowledged that all these messy turns of fate followed behavior that your mother could have told you was tacky.

Not very long ago, all the precursor behavior in these cases would have been recognized as vulgar — whether or not anyone ended up dead, raped or falsely accused of rape. But in a nation of people in constant terror of being perceived as "judgmental," I'm not sure most people do recognize that anymore. It shouldn't be necessary to point out that girls shouldn't be bar-hopping alone or taking their clothes off in front of strangers, and that young men shouldn't be hiring strippers.

But we live in a world of Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Howard Stern, Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman," Democratic fund-raisers at the Playboy Mansion and tax deductions for entertaining clients at strip clubs."
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Uh huh. Once upon a time, if you did something stupid, then people would tsk-tsk over the misery it caused you, but STILL thwap you soundly for being an idiot. Not any more. Modern dunderheading is ALWAYS the fault of a THING, and not the result of someone's stupid behavior. Look at how England is handling the age-old running-with-scissors problem that has been with us ever since Alley-Oop dropped a hefty rock on some pieces of flint and discovered how to make really really sharp things.

Yes. There are movements afoot to ban all really really sharp things.

Now, some of us accept the pitfalls of Darwinism, and continue to tsk-tsk whenever a raging lunatic destroys himself in some spectacular manner, because pausing for a moment of reflection before laughing until your sides hurt is only right.

But the shallow end of the gene pool will forever be a source of amusement, and you could swaddle these misanthropes in protection befitting knights in shiny armor and they'd still figure out a way to fuck up a steel ball.