Gobbledeegook

Ring ring:

Hello?

Hi, my name is Jennifer and I'd appreciate it if you'd allow me to take a moment of your busy time to discuss your community's Urban Reserve Area's Conceptual Land Use Plan for the Countywide Visioning and Planning Process *.

Beg pardon?

Yes sir, the URA as approved by the Florida Legislature to determine the parameters of the CLUP as regards the CVPP...

Miss? (interrupting)

...because per Interlocal Agreement...um, yes sir?

Miss, you aren't speaking English, did you say, 'visioning'?

Yes sir, well, CONCEPTUAL visioning with regards to the Guiding Principles and Action Strategies, and I know how busy we all are these days but I'm sure you have a care for the environment and...

Ah (interrupting again), the environment, might I inquire as to your affiliation, ma'am? And by the way, we've all a lot more time on our hands today otherwise why would I or anyone else extend you the courtesy of listening to newly-invented words to describe tree-hugging?

Um, ah, I'm not a representative of any Particular Affiliation, sir, we do non-profit work to help coordinate the public's access to URA's as they pertain to CVPC's...

Miss (yet another rude interruption), I'm quite sure that your ABC's are on the up and up regarding whatever in the name of all that's holy you're talking about, but do the world a favor and just drop me a letter if you'd be so kind.

We don't...

Because the first thing I'm going to do is play all this back to try and decipher if I've indeed been contacted by an extraterrestrial agency that is unfamiliar with English and the bottom line is you want to stop a Wal-Mart from chopping down a tree or someone else from...

Click.

*Caps inferred from the deadly serious pronunciation of certain words.