I was taken aback when Mr. Fancy Schmancy shouted "A pox on both your houses!" as I was unaware that he knew of my summer home. Founding member of the Hogtown Irregulars, and former indentured short order cook still on the run. Professional Zamboni racer and bronze medal recipient in the 2010 All-Miami Outdoor Zamboni Championships.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Welcoming Hartel
Hartel Knucks is the newest Hogtown Irregular,and old Hartel has donated yet another Mosin Nagant...pronounced Moseen Nangan...for our extensive tests that are just about over and done with. So many fly's found their way into the ointment...missing orders, out of stock items, late deliveries, etc...but we finally got to shoot some rounds and I'll be reporting back soon.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Jimmy Carter Sends Condolences To Norks
Former President Jimmy Carter has sent North Korea a message of condolence over the death of Kim Jong-il and wished "every success" to the man expected to take over as dictator, according to the communist country's state-run news agency.
A dispatch from the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) said Mr. Carter sent the message to Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-il's son and heir apparent.
"In the message Jimmy Carter extended condolences to Kim Jong Un and the Korean people over the demise of leader Kim Jong Il. He wished Kim Jong Un every success as he assumes his new responsibility of leadership, looking forward to another visit to [North Korea] in the future," the KCNA dispatch read."
READ ON as Messenger-Leaks exposes more of the letter sent by Mr. Carter:
"...ma condolences for the loss of a man so close to ma heart. We shared so very many life experiences and came to agree that no one can fulfill the love a man needs like another man can. For instance, I was so happy to discover that your Daddy would come into your room to play find-the-pickle whenever your Momma wasn't home, because that is exactly what my Daddy did with me.
...and as how you're going to get along with President Obama, well don't you have a care son. Just looky at all them photos of him a bowin' and a' scrapin' to every third-world tinhorn. The boy will bend over backwards for you so don't be havin' no never-minds.
All my love,
Uncle Jimmy
Friday, December 16, 2011
Was Waiting For One Of Them To Draw
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bestiality In The Military's Future?
Here's the dilemma in a nutsack, er, shell:
Section 125 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice FORBIDS carnal copulation with a member of the same sex...or...an animal. In the same sentence, even.
But since the military has now asked Congress to rewrite the UCMJ so that gays can fornicate one another without reprimand, Section 125 cannot simply be erased because Squids (Sailors) would be nailing dolphins to beat the band.
Now remember, back in the good old days fluggin a goat was considered just as disgusting as pillowbiting your bunky buddy, but, as we've often seen of late, time marches on and the ticking ain't all that sweet to the ears. Matter of fact, most members of the Old Corps...or Corpse as the president calls it...would prefer the kind affections of a mule-dear over swapping spit with a male of the species so no one could have predicted allowing such disgusting goings-on to be sanctioned, and therein lies the rub.
Bidding A Fond Farewell To The Old Light Bulb...
...And The Even Older Concepts Of Liberty
The old incandescents must...by government mandate...be removed from shelves in January, and all incandescent lighting totally eradicated by 2015. So heed the above advice lest you poison the entire neighborhood when, after you've finally switched, a mighty gust of wind comes along and rips them from their moorings after you've spent so much time decorating the front forty.
"If a CFL breaks while you are relighting Christmas decorations or changing out any of the other lighting sources in your house, it is important to air out the room where it broke. If it fell and broke on a hard surface, you can carefully scoop up the broken pieces and place them in a canning jar or a zip-tight plastic bag. Be sure to not sweep or vacuum the area.
If the bulb breaks over a rugged or carpeted area, then you can vacuum the area once you have all the visible pieces of glass and powder picked up and sealed in either a jar or plastic bag. But, according to the EPA’s guide, you then need to wipe clean your vacuum’s canister or remove the vacuum bag and place it inside another plastic bag. If you do have to vacuum, there are more instructions on how to set your vacuum on the proper settings."
The old incandescents must...by government mandate...be removed from shelves in January, and all incandescent lighting totally eradicated by 2015. So heed the above advice lest you poison the entire neighborhood when, after you've finally switched, a mighty gust of wind comes along and rips them from their moorings after you've spent so much time decorating the front forty.
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
That Time Of The Year Again When We...
Remember Pearl Harbor...
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