DNC Announces New Campaign Finance Plan

Stand Aside Cat-Drop-Coffee...Here Come The Dems

In order to generate more monies for the upcoming general election, the Democratic National Committee has announced a series of specialty products to be placed on sale to the public beginning early next month.

Hoping to cash in on the trendy cat-dropping coffee beans, the DNC will offer Hill-Heaps and Obama-Offal, soon to be followed by Michelle-Manure, Chelsea Crap and Bill Bilge.

The office of Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean reports that it is busily working with the IRS in order to establish the products as charitable donations and not campaign contributions, thereby making them tax deductible. Actor Alan Alda has been approached to become a paid spokesperson for the products, appearing in a series of commercials aimed at location-specific, upscale communities throughout the country.

"There's soon to be a new Mr. Coffee," Chairman Dean's office told the AP, "each brand will have its own unique, personal flavoring and who better than Alan Alda to be the face behind such a new and exciting line."