Messenger Sport Headlines: WORLD CUP ACTION COMES TO THE END

Group of little guys in shorts lacking hand-eye coordination beats other group of little guys in shorts lacking hand-eye coordination

In a breathtaking display of running with your hands out to the side like a little girl, Spain defeated the Netherlands in World Cup action by a score of One-Nil.

Spanish goalkeeper Miles Gloriousos stopped over one shot on goal, nearly time and time again, while Netherlands striker Hans Free complained vehemently to the referee that it was no fair Miles could move so quickly, because that in truth might actually mean soccer was a genuine sport requiring at least some degree of athletic ability versus just a bunch of dorks running in circles not using their hands for much of anything. 

While the International Soccer Community as a whole agreed with Ms Free, there was in fact nothing that could be done because all of the hotels rooms in South Africa had to be vacated by today or everyone would lose their security deposits.

In other news from the world of "sports", American President Barack Obama spent his day on the golf course, proving yet again that any activity featuring  grown men who can't even hit a stationary ball with a big stick doesn't deserve to be called a sport either.