Size-D Implants Saved Woman's Life

"A Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon says a woman's size-D breast implants might have saved her life when a gunman opened fire at her office.

Lydia Carranza was working at the Simi Valley dental office July 1 when her co-worker, the gunman's wife, was shot and killed.

Carranza was just a few feet away. She survived a gunshot to the chest, but the the bullet left a scar and deflated the implant.

"She's just one lucky woman," Dr. Ashkan Ghavami told the LA Times. "I saw the CT scan. The bullet fragments were millimeters from her heart and her vital organs. Had she not had the implant, she might not be alive today."

Interesting. Small caliber bullets traveling at modest speeds can be slowed without further ado, but since the reporter covering this story didn't believe it germane to actually TELL US much of anything with regards to the size of the bullet or from whence it came, we'll never know.

Then there's the "expert" opinion:

"An LAPD firearms instructor told the Times it's possible the implant interrupted the velocity of the bullet.

"I don't want to say a boob job is the equivalent of a bulletproof vest," Scott Reitz told the Times. "So don't go getting breast enhancements as a means to deflect a possible incoming bullet."

First off, sight unseen, officer Reitz doesn't know a damn thing about what was or was not possible, and secondly you idiot, they're referred to as bullet-resistant vests.

And how frickin DARE you tell women not to explore the wonderful world of breast enhancements?