Thursday, November 06, 2008

Political Reality 101

Welcome to the boob tube's rendition of who should be President. JFK was the first real glamor boy to woo Ma & Pa Kettle, and defeated old Dour Dick. Dick only made a comeback when facing the likes of Hubie, and Carter came along and smiled his way to the Presidency over Flappable Ford. Then the movie star decided to run and swamped Mr. Peanut but good. The movie star's stand-in then had a go at it and the election wasn't even a contest. Suddenly one day an otherwise hideous but grinning hillbilly named Willy sent hearts all aflutter and whopped aging less-than-gorgeous-George, then kneecapped crippled old Dole just for the fun of it. Enter Top-Gun who certainly had fun in out-manning Algore, then Lurch. Obama had nothing to say but since McCain had his day and it was loooooong over with, the adorers drooled him into the Oval Office.

Since the advent of television, the candidate who can project the best personality and/or handsomeness, ALWAYS wins. Doesn't matter if he's a marxist son of a bitch who'd trade Israel for some Arab lovin, doesn't matter one little snickle. So forget looking for Mr. Conservative to fly in to save the day come ought-12. Forget his stand on the Constitution, his personal honor system, his record.

He damned well better look good in tights.

No comments: