Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Queen Of Steel And His Retinue

The old queen James A. Frost had two of the grand-kid's on to start off Cutlery Corner this evening, and as usual the 8 year-old grandson was his bratty, uncontrollable self, bespeaking a poor rearing amongst clueless backwooded inbreds. The kid stood atop a milk crate, kicked the table in front of him, swung his arms, clapped his hands, then ruffled poor Stuttering Todd Boone's hair.

The Queen was ranting on about how his granddaughter's softball team won some inbred tournament or another, but at least the young lady is graceful which leads one to imagine her not being fathered by a son of James A. Frost.

On to the leadoff product. A pearl-handled knife that was ingrained with "The World's Greatest Mom" hastily made due to the sellout of the previous one they had constructed for Mother's Day. Problem is, they sold out that particular product several shows ago, and the Queenie lied and said that they just minutes ago ran out of stock.

Not even a lick of this can be the truth because all of the Queen's products come from China or India or Pakistan and it would not have been possible to place an order via slow boat and have it delivered in "minutes".  All it was was a lame attempt at weasel-wording out of the fact that they continued to advertise a product that has not been available.

Many, many folks gladly believe the lies coming from the Queen of Steel, as they wouldn't know a good knife from bad and truly think that kissing the Queens hem will exhort her to keep those great deals a'comin'.

In other news, Miss Mary is readying yet another Mystery Box for Mother's Day and rumor has it that she and the Queen will be sporting some extra fancy finery for the filming of the show on the day of that great event. I'm thinking a long, flowing train highlighted by mother-of-pearl.

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