Monday, July 28, 2008

Tom Hanks; Gun-Loving Yahoo

"HAS Tom Hanks metamorphed from liberal peacenik into gun-loving yahoo?

That's the question being posed in rural Idaho, where the superstar actor has installed a pistol-packing security guard to patrol his posh Sun Valley getaway."

Ya really think the good folks of Idaho are losing sleep because Mr. Hanks hired an armed guard?

"As Page Six reported last month, Hanks has warred for six years with Storey Construction, which built his spread in 2002. The star and his actress wife, Rita Wilson, withheld the final $3 million payment, claiming "shoddy construction," but were later forced to pay up. They're now appealing to get back $2.5 million.

The lawyer for contractor Gary Storey, who has the right to inspect the site to gather evidence for his defense, says his workers are spooked because Hanks, who won Oscars for "Forrest Gump" and "Philadelphia," has a guy with a semi-automatic and two clips of ammo eyeballing them.

"It's as hazardous a condition as you can have," lawyer Miles Stanislaw told us. "The other day, the guard tripped and fell on a piece of plywood with his gun on him. It could have gone off and had fatal consequences. It is inconceivable a person like Tom Hanks, who claims to be the voice of the little people, could tolerate this."

Truly, I for one cannot imagine a more hazardous situation. Then again, if all 35,000 NYC police officers tripped and fell at the same time, all of those there guns going off might shoot a hole straight through to China.

"Hanks' rep, Leslee Dart, responded: "One security guard had to be hired after Storey tried to force his way onto the Hanks' property at 7 a.m., unannounced, with five pickup trucks full of his cronies. The one guard that was hired is an off-duty police officer who, by Idaho law, is allowed to carry a gun." Stanislaw called Dart's dawn raid allegation "a total fabrication."

Meanwhile, the security guard himself, Shane Gilbert, told us: "I'm very well-trained and capable. Security guards don't pack heat just to go around shooting people."

Whew. This makes me feel a whole lot better. Since he's a specially trained and capable officer of the law then I don't see what all the fuss is about. As an affirmed supporter of anti-gunner B.O., that's Barack Obama for those dialing in from Rio Linda, one couldn't expect Mr. Hanks to be packing heat himself, now could one. He did what any self respecting liberal should. Hired himself a gun-loving yahoo.

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