Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Very Special Happy Birthday Edition Of Cutlery Corner

Yesterday was Jim Frost's birthday, so of course he's ripping you off even more than usual.

Sight unseen, guaranteed though to be the bestest deal they've ever not shown, you can bah (buy) a very very very special nahff (knife) for $22, or save yourseff (yourself) some monies and git (get) 5 for only $110. Don't bother to do the math: 5 X 22 = 110, but don't tell anyone at Cutlery Corner because they've been so brainwashed as to believe in the newest math of all. Grifter-style multi-plah-cay-shee-un.

To their credit though, Mr. Todd Boone only stole one trademarked item, and actually explained that Solingen steel was sent FROM Germany, and not that the nahff itself was made there. He then went and lied his ass off that the steel was sent "Here", but since Frost has no manufacturing facilities ANYWHERES, in actuality the steel was sent to China via oil credits...that's how the Chinamen like doing business with the Krauts...and them same Chinamen slapped together a dollar-three-eighty nahff and its yours fer only $22, PLUS of course the obscene shipping.

But of all of the above, the single most annoying feature...yes, there IS something more annoying than Ms. Sheila Travis trying to speak English while hiding her stutter...and that was their marvelous idea to all but silence Mr. Boone by playing the most irritating phone ringers imaginable right over his stab at the national tongue. Took old Todd by sur-praze, too. So he had to shout even louder than usual to be heard over the racket.

When the shift changed and senile old Tommy Boy O'Dell came in dragging along potato-nose Travis, the ringing went deep into the background. Still there, still annoying, still stupid, still above all else Frosted Flakes Cutlery, but nowhere near as loud as when poor old Todd was being forced to scream himself into oblivion.

Happy Birthday, Jim. You unbelievably unique even-amongst-conmen douchebag.

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